Jesse Chronicles: The Raccoon Saga
by KineAvai
Summary: Basically a story based on an inside joke The story of the Hero Jesse & the Band of Heroes as they go on a journey in search of the 6 scepters for the fairy Indi to grant their wishes - along they way they meet other people and battle the overlord Lysci
1. Prolouge

Jesse Chronicles: The Raccoon Saga

Prologue

[Scene opens to an epic battle with lots of pows & shiny weapons and such.

The epic battle between the dark overlord Lysci and the great hero Jesse.

*Dramatic dun dun dun* ]

Jesse: Vile woman! You shall be slain!

Lysci: No! I shall be victorious & take over the world! **evil laugh**

[As Lysci is laughing Jesse attacks with a swipe of his great shiny sword]

Lysci: Ow! Not cool, that hurt.....That's not how you play battle ship.....

Jesse: It is now~

Lysci: Very well! **begins casting a long complicated spell to kill the warrior**

[While Lysci is casting Jesse walks over & pushes her.

The spell is interrupted and Jesse is hit by an incomplete incantation O.O

Jesse disappears into a poof of smoke and all that's left is a pile of his clothes]

Lysci: **Evil laugh** Success! That nuisance is finally gone!

Jesse: Why are you celebrating, I'm not dead...

Lysci: O.O Jesse?!?

[Jesse crawls out from under his clothes pile...

AS A RACCOON

:O]

Jesse: What the fruit?!?

Lysci: XD ROFL

Jesse: Not cool, change me back

Lysci: No, you will be so much easier to get rid of this way

Jesse: (Oh, no. I can't win like this.) **Flee**

Lysci: Hey! You come back here so I can kill you!

Jesse: No!

[Jesse skedaddles off into the surrounding forest to escape from Lysci]

Lysci: Darn you, Jesse! Luz! I need your assistance!

[A valkyrie (me :D) flies down by Lysci]

Luz: Yes, my dark mistress? How may I be of service?

Lysci: You got here fast

Luz: Of course. I'm a falcon, I'm fast~ Like woosh! Wanna see? I'll ju-

Lysci: I called you for a reason

Luz: 'Cause I'm fast?

Lysci: No! I have a rodent problem

Luz: What kind of rodent problem?

Lysci: The hero, Jesse, got away....

Luz: D: **gasp**

Lysci: I turned him into a raccoon and he ran away.... .

Luz: Why didn't you just kill him with that shocky thing?

Lysci: I was going to...but the battle didn't go quite as planned....

Luz: Oh, I get it y-

Lysci: Just go find him!!

Luz: o.o OK, gosh, you don't have to yell...

[Luz flies off in search of Jesse]

Lysci: Why is it so hard to find good help these days?

~*~End~*~


	2. Chapter 1: Running Raccoon

Jesse Chronicles: Raccoon Saga

Chapter 1: Running Raccoon

Jesse: Ow, my head

[Jesse awakens in a strange little hut-type-thing

He is then whacked on the head by a large wooden spoon]

Jesse: Ouch! What was that for?!?

Fatima: **sigh** Why do all the animals talk now?

Jesse: Who are you? Where am I? Why did you hit me?

Fatima: Fatima. In my hut-type-thing. It's easier to make you into soup if you're not awake.

Jesse: 0.0 You were going to eat me?!?

Fatima: Raccoon makes for good eating, well the normal ones anyway. What are you? A pet? A mutant?

Jesse: I was made into a raccoon by the dark overlord, Lysci

Fatima: Oh~ Well, that makes sense.....Actually it doesn't...

Jesse: I was battling her for the foggy scepter

Fatima: Ah, so you are also on the quest for the fairy, India

Jesse: Well, no. I was just trying to keep Lysci from getting a wish

Fatima: No matter, she needs all six to get a wish. The Band of Heroes will not give up theirs too easily

Jesse: The Band of Heroes? Who are they?

Fatima: They are a group of warriors in search of the 6 scepters for the fairy, India.

Jesse: So, they all have a wish?

Fatima: Obviously :P

Jesse: Well then, perhaps I should find the Band of Heroes. Lysci can't get a wish if the Heroes get theirs first

Fatima: Yeah, good thinking. No body else would ever figure that out

Jesse: Why are you being so sarcastic?

Fatima: Because I am trying to guide you to your destiny but you're still just sitting on my floor

Jesse: Oh~

[Fatima sweeps Jesse out of her hut-type-thing with her broom]

Fatima: Go find the Band of Heroes and save the land, Jesse. It is your destiny

Jesse: It is?

Fatima: Yes! Now go!

[Jesse scurries off in search of the Band of Heroes]

~*~End~*~


	3. Chapter 2: With the Band

Jesse Chronicles: The Raccoon Saga

Chapter 2: I'm with the Band

[Jesse is running through the forest, in search of any clues to the

whereabouts of the Band of Heroes..

When he is pounced upon 0.0

By a wolf D:]

Wolf: I have dinner!

Jesse: D: No! No! You can't eat me! I'm too young to die~

Wolf: Fine, I don't like dramatic food anyway

[the wolf begins to walk away]

Jesse: Wait!

Wolf: What?

Jesse: Would you happen to know the whereabouts of the Band of Heroes?

Wolf: . What do you know about the Band of Heroes?

Jesse: I'm looking to join up with them

Wolf: You have a wish?

Jesse: Yes, I..uh..I want to be human again!

Wolf: You used to be a human?

Jesse: Yes, the dark overlord, Lysci turned me into a raccoon when I was battling her for the foggy scepter

Wolf: Do you know where more scepters are?

Jesse: Well yeah. I know the locations of a few

Wolf: Oh really?!?

Jesse: Um (Maybe I said too much -.-;;)

Wolf: :D Welcome to the Band little buddy! I'm Kathryn! Come on, I'll take you to camp!

Jesse: Um, thanks-

[Kathryn snatches Jesse up into her jaws & begins running through the forest

After a while of running they come to a campsite with many odd creatures

seated around a fire playing poker]

Kathryn: Guys! I found another addition to our group!

Centaur: I thought you were going for food

Kathryn: I was but I found this guy instead.

Dragon/Prius: Ok, but why did you bring him here?

Kathryn: He knows where some of the scepters are!

Camp Group: Oh~, welcome to the band-

Centaur: Um, what's his name?

Jesse: Jesse

Kathryn: His name's Jesse!

Camp Group: Hi, Jesse!

Centaur: I'm Lilly

Dragon/Prius: I'm Joel

Kathryn: And thats- 0.0 Where's Derek??

[The group looks around]

Joel: Oh, no~ Derek's missing

[ D: ]

Derek: -_- I'm right here

Joel: Oh yeah, Derek's invisible

Jesse: Cool

Derek: Yeah, I am

Joel: . Conceited~

Derek: Quiet, hybrid

Joel: :(

Jesse: ok~ (These people are freaks .)

~*~End~*~


	4. Chapter 3: Potty Hazards

Chapter 3: Potty Hazards

[The Band of Heroes (now including Jesse) are skipping through the forest

in a very Wizard of Oz fashion - but Lilly keeps falling into puddles so it

doesn't work out too well – anyway~ they're off in the direction the forest

path leads them...since there's only one and such]

Lilly: Ew~ I'm all dirty~ D:

Joel: I'm tired~

Derek: I'm thirsty~

Kathryn: Are you all just going to complain the entire time?

Lilly: Yes

Jesse: Maybe we should find a hotel or something?

Kathryn: Do you see any around?

Jesse: . No

Kathryn: Ok then, lets just keep walking

Lilly: Wait... I have to go to the bush

Kathryn: I told you to go before we left camp

Lilly: But everyone else used that bush .

Kathryn: Fine, go

[Lilly gallops off the path to find a bush which would be up

up to her standards for use]

Joel: I spy with my dragon eye something green

Jesse: Grass?

Joel: No

Jesse: Leaves?

Joel: No

Jesse: That bug?(o.o)

Joel: No

Jesse: (o.o) That one?

Joel: No

Derek: The bush that's eating Lilly?

Joel: N- What?!?

[Lilly had stumbled into the jaws of a giant meat-eating

bush :O ]

Joel: That is so ironic, the vegetarian is getting eaten by a plant

Lilly: **extremely high pitched scream**

Derek: Ow

Jesse: 0.o Shouldn't we help her?

Kathryn: Yeah, we probably should

Joel: Band of Heroes, go!

[The Band jumps up into action]

Kathryn: I'll get Lilly!

Joel: I'll douse the plant in gasoline!

Derek: I'll cause it to combust! (← that means light it on fire, just FYI)

Jesse: And I'll-...um... (What can I do as a raccoon? :( )

[The Band runs to Lilly's aid – but Jesse stays behind – the plant

is lit on fire and Lilly is rescued]

Lilly: That was so traumatizing ;__;

Joel & Derek: ROFL

Lilly: You're all so mean to me ;____;

Joel: Apparently you were mean to that plant LOL

Lilly: Hmph!

Kathryn: Ok, ok, make fun of Lilly time is over for now-

Lilly: "For now"? D:

Kathryn: Yes, we will not let you live this down for a while ^.^

Lilly: T-T

Kathryn: Well, lets get back to the journey

Joel: Off we go!

Derek: Where are we going anyway?

Kathryn: Wherever the path leads

[Derek looks around]

Derek: What path?

[In saving Lilly the Band got lost in the forest D: ]

Kathryn: 0.0 Oh no!

Joel: Nice going, Lilly

Lilly: Quiet, Hybrid .

Jesse: Everyone calm down, the path can't be to far

Lilly: Exactly, I didn't get us lost. The path is just past this bent tree

[Lilly walks off in the direction of the tree]

Kathryn: A bent tree? o.0

Lilly: Ack!

Kathryn: Lilly?!?

[Lilly has been caught in one of those rope trap type things]

Jesse: Oh no, not again

Lilly: Help me~ The blood's rushing to my head~ T-T

Derek: We should just leave her there and go on -.-

Jesse: We can't do that, I'll cut her down

[Jesse scurries over to Lilly]

Lilly: Thanks, Jesse

Jesse: No problem, Lilly. I'm happy to he-

[Jesse falls over, because he's been hit by a dart D: ]

Kathryn: Oh, what now? .

[Kathryn, Derek, and Joel pick their way through the foliage to

get to Jesse and Lilly

Then they fall into a pit :O ]

Joel: Ow, my tail pipe

Kathryn: What is going on?!?

[Tribal chanting is heard a distance away]

Joel: We're going to be eaten ;_;

Kathryn: I'm going to get thrown into a volcano ;_;

Lilly: Ugh, my head~

Derek: We're going to have to listen to Lilly until we get captured ;_;

~*~End~*~

*~*Extra Reading*~*

|Author's Notes|

:D Hi peoples! I just wanted to take some space to thank all the peoples for reading and for all the support ^_^

I know the chapters aren't too long yet, I'm working on getting into a bit more detail on some things and not make the story too confusing .

Keep reading~ I'm working hard to keep it going~

~Kine


	5. Chapter 4: Story of my Life

Jesse Chronicles: The Raccoon Saga

Chapter 4: Story of my Life

[The Band of Heroes is being carried through the forest by the tribal

warriors, upside down on large sticks]

Lilly: This isn't good for my back .

Derek: You got us into this mess, stop complaining

Lilly: ;_; Derek, you're so mean to me

Soo oo soo: ooga booga aa aa oo! (Quiet, both of you!)

|I went ahead & named all the tribal people because

someone~ . wanted them to have names already|

Band: o.0

Go men oo: oo oo aa oo oo boo (I can't wait to eat these guys)

Nay nay me na: aa aa aa oo eekity beebee mee (Same here)

Kathryn: What are they saying?!

Joel: I don't know but I think it's about us

[The Band is carried then dropped onto the dirt floor before

a throne.

Seated in the throne is a man]

Man: Welcome creatures, I am..........Spack Jarrow!

Jesse: D: The pirate, Spack Jarrow!

Spack: I just said that .

Joel: You didn't say you were a pirate

Spack: Quiet you

Joel: .

She me ne: oo ga ga ga! (OMG! They can talk!)

Bob: aa aa lololololo! (Wow!)

Kathryn: Why were we captured?

Spack: My tribesmen are hungry

Lilly: You're going to eat us?!?! D:

Spack: Of course, we're going to make you into the delicacy of grape carrot soup :9

Lilly: I don't want to be eaten! T-T I don't want to die~ **hysterical cries**

Spack: Quiet! You're going to get soggy

Te te: lolololo go go meh (The only one who likes soggy food is Oog ma ma ma lele, but he's a freak)

Spack: Take them to the cage! We will feast tonight!

Tribesmen: ak! (Hurray!)

[The Band is led away & thrown into a giant bird cage]

Joel: Oh no! We're in a cage!

Derek: Very observant

Kathryn: We have to get out of here

Jesse: But how?

Derek: The cage is made of wood, we could just break it

Lilly: No we can't, the bars are covered in poison ivy D:

[dun dun dun]

Jesse: We could just battle our way out when they open the door to get us out

Kathryn: That could work

Joel: But they're making grape carrot soup -.- a delicacy that takes 5 hours to prepare

Lilly: We're going to be stuck in here for 5 hours?!

Joel: If they make it right

Derek: How do you know about grape carrot soup, anyway? It's not a common dish

Joel: It was a common draconian court dish

Band: 0.0 Draconian court???

Joel: Yes, I am the dragon prince

Kathryn: D: But all the draconian royalty were killed by the evil lord Lysci

Joel: Yes, she killed everyone I knew and loved

Derek: How did you escape?

Joel: I was saved by my parents

Jesse: This sounds like an interesting story, do tell

Joel: Ok, well, my story begins as everyone else's: at conception

Jesse: Ok, never mind

Joel: No no no, it's an important part of the story

Jesse: Fine, just don't be too graphic

Joel: Ok, my parents were.....getting busy, when Lysci transformed my mother into a Prius 0.0

Lilly: D:

Joel: But I was already conceived, my mother's gas tank made a suitable uterus

Jesse: Graphic~

Joel: Sorry, anyway, I developed and was born. But my parents were killed shortly after .

Kathryn: Aw :(

Joel: But I grew and trained so I may one day defeat Lysci

Jesse: So your wish is for your kingdom back?

Joel: Um, actually I wish to know everything ^.^;;

Derek: What good will that do?

Joel: I'll know more than you .

Derek: Good luck .

Joel: Oh, you're so smart? What's your story?

Derek: I was born then I lived

Joel: Then?

Derek: Then

Lilly: 0.o Mysterious

Derek: Yes, I am

Joel: o.o So, uh, Lilly, why don't you share your story?

Lilly: Sure, I hatched from an egg

Kathryn: An egg?

Lilly: Yes, I hatched and then was raised by my surrogate mother

Jesse: What about your real mother?

Lilly: I don't know about my real parents, my egg was all alone :(

Joel: So what was your surrogate mother?

Lilly: A griffin

Kathryn: :O

Lilly: Yup ^_^

Jesse: And what's your wish, Lilly?

Lilly: I want a giant bubble so I can live under water :D

Derek: -_-

Joel: Wow......Um, Jesse?

Jesse: I was born a peasant boy, together my parents and I farmed rutabagas

Lilly: 0.o But I thought you were a great warrior

Jesse: Yes, I was trained by a man

Kathryn: Who?

Jesse: I don't know, but he trained me and told me my destiny was to defeat the evil overlord, Lysci

Joel: Then shouldn't your wish be to defeat Lysci?

Jesse: Well, I know I can defeat her if I were human again

Derek: Make's sense

Lilly: Mhmm. Kathryn, what's your wish?

Kathryn: I want to be human too, well just for a bit

Jesse: A bit?

Kathryn: Yeah, every full moon would suffice

Derek: Why do you want to be human?

Kathryn: In my pack, I fell in love with another wolf...but he became a human and I became a lone wolf to search for my own fortune

Lilly: :O Oooo~

Kathryn: So if I become a human every once in a while I could see him again

Jesse: Why not just become human completely?

Kathryn: I like being a wolf

Jesse: Ok, so we all have to work hard to get our wishes

Lilly: Yes, but that would require us to get out of this cage

Kathryn: Well our stories must have passed enough time

Joel: Actually, it's only been about 5 minutes

Band: 0.0

~*~End~*~


	6. Chapter 5: So Fruity

Jesse Chronicles: The Raccoon Saga

Chapter 5: So What if I'm a Little Fruity

[The Band is sitting in the cage, being bored]

Lilly: I'm bored..

Joel: Me too..

Derek: As am I..

Jesse: I'm hungry..

[I tribal woman (who interestingly looks like Fatima :o ) comes

over to the Band carrying a large bowl of fruits]

Jesse: Food!

Tribal Fatima: Eat up, you'll need the power

Jesse: Don't you mean "the energy"

Tribal Fatima: No, "the power." You should listen better

Jesse: Sorry

[Tribal Fatima opens the cage door and gives Jesse the bowl

He then lifts an apple & it starts to glow in his paw as he holds it up]

Jesse: I-Have-The-Fruit~!!!

Band: :O

Jesse: You look familiar, lady. Aren't you the same woman who tried to eat me?

Joel: Dude, she left a while ago

Jesse: ...oh...

Kathryn: And she left the door open, this is our chance to get out of here

Lilly: Yeah!

[The Band leaps from the cage & begins running through the village,

when they are stopped by Spack Jarrow]

Spack: Now, where do you tasty morsels think you're going?

Jesse: We're leaving

Spack: But we're going to make you into soup :(

Jesse: But we don't want to be soup

Spack: Well I'm in charge and I say you will be soup! D:

Jesse: And what makes you the boss?

Spack: Because I have this-

[Spack holds up..

THE SHINY SCEPTER!! :o]

Kathryn: He has a scepter!

Band: :O

Spack: A scepter?

Joel: Yeah, that's what it is

Spack: Oh, really? I thought it was just a magic stick the old tribal leader carried around

Kathryn: Sure, let's go with that. We'll trade you for it

Spack: Do you think I'm stupid?

Joel: Maybe

Spack: :P Obviously this is something valuable, I shall keep it

Jesse: But if you don't give it to us, the dark overlord, Lysci, will come take it

Spack: I wonder how much I can sell this for..

Jesse: You're not even listening -_-

Spack: Sorry, it's just so shiny~ _

Kathryn: Just give it to us or we'll have to take it by force

Spack: But it's mine~ :(

Lilly: Don't be stubborn

Koo moo nee: eee aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa? (What's going on?)

La ba mene: ee e e me ne uu ku (I don't know)

Spack: Fine, I'll fight you for it. But 4 against one isn't fair. I get to choose who I battle.

Derek: -_- There are 5 of us

Kathryn: Fine, we agree

Spack: I choose~ ...um...

Band: Well?

Spack: I will fight the rodent!

Jesse: Aw, that's just mean ;_; I'm not a rodent

Kathryn: Get over it and go get that scepter

[Jesse is pushed into a circle of death ring with Spack]

Spack: Prepare yourself rodent, you will be defeated then cooked up very nicely into my dinner!

Jesse: Or we could just play checkers instead

[Spack pulls a giant sword from like no where]

Spack: Prepare to die, rodent!

Jesse: D:

[Spack lunges at Jesse with his sword with slashing and poking motions

but Jesse, just in time, counters by holding up a large grapefruit!]

Jesse: Cool. I wonder what else I can do

[Jesse reaches behind himself & finds he is wearing a backpack]

Jesse: That's new

[Inside the backpack, he finds more fruit!]

Jesse: No scurvy for us! Take that, Spack!

[Jesse flings flaming lemons at Spack]

Spack: Agh! The citric acid burns~ You win, you win!

Jesse: Yay! We get the scepter!

Spack: Aw, but it's so shiny~ :( I'll give you my ship, the Pack Blearl, instead :D

Jesse: Gee, thanks for the offer but we'd rather have the scepter

Kathryn: Yeah, so hand it over

Spack: T-T I don't wanna

[Derek walks up and takes the scepter from Spack]

Spack: What was that?!?!

Derek: There are five of us :P

Nee nee mee: Ook ug me ne ee ee po (He no longer has the scepter)

Ki nee beke: Ak be ne se se (Then why is he our ruler?)

Nee nee mee: Ook che che ne ge too too bo (He is no longer our ruler, we can eat him now)

Tribal People: Chee beee! (Dinner!)

[The tribal people run over to Spack]

Spack: Yes, my subjects shall enforce my word and get the shiny back!

[The tribal people grab Spack, throw him into a pot, & rush back to bow

down to Jesse]

Tribal People: Koo moo noo shoo (Long live, Rodent)

Jesse: 0.0 This is weird

Lilly: Wow, they are such lemmings

Joel: No, they're people

Lilly: Quiet, Hybrid!

Jesse: Um, how about we leave now?

Derek: How? They're going to follow wherever you go

Kathryn: How about we take the boat?

Lilly: That sounds like a good idea

Joel: Yeah!

Jesse: All aboard the Pack Blearl!

[As so, the Band boarded the ship and began to sail]

Lilly: Ugh, sea sickness~

Band: 0.0

____________Else where_____________

Luz: They are leaving the mainland, I must inform Lysci

~*~End~*~


	7. Chapter 6: Elsewhere

Jesse Chronicles: The Raccoon Saga

Chapter 6: Elsewhere

|We will be taking a little time in this chapter

to look back at other characters from the story|

*^*Lysci*^*

[Presently, the dark overlord is pacing around in here throne room]

Lysci: Where is Luz? She should have been back days ago? . Who knows how many scepters Jesse has found by now. Gosh, where did all the good help go?

[Just then, Luz flies in through the window]

Luz: My mistress. I bring news of the warrior, Jesse

Lysci: About time, I was expecting you days ago

Luz: My apologies, it took me a tad bit of time to find him and the Band

Lysci: The Band?

Luz: Jesse has joined a group of warriors, all in search of the other scepters

Lysci: :o That's not good, you should have killed them! Why didn't you kill them when you had them in your sight?!?

Luz: I couldn't -

Lysci: Why not?!?

Luz: Because they were sailing to the island of Meenchestaire when I finally caught up to them..

Lysci: You can fly! Why didn't you just fly to the boat and kill them all?!?

Luz: …..I'm afraid of the ocean.....

Lysci: **smack forehead **Then why didn't you follow them to the island and kill them there?

Luz: I returned to bring you news

Lysci: Fine, I guess you did well in that

Luz: Thank you, Mistress

Lysci: What other news do you bring?

Luz: The winning lottery numbers are 56-9-87-2

Lysci: Darn! They never pick my numbers .

Luz: Maybe next time

Lysci: Anyway, go find the Band, kill them, and return any scepters they have to me

Luz: Yes, Mistress. I shall go now

Lysci: Fly, my minion, fly! Get that pesky warrior, Jesse

Luz: I shall!

Lysci: You better! Or don't come back!

[Luz flies back out the window & Lysci is left to simmer in her rage]

*^*Fatima*^*

[Fatima is sitting in a lawn chair outside her hut-type-thing, eating

a burrito and drinking a coke]

Fatima: Mmm, yummy :9 That was good, but I better get back to my guiding duties...I'm off to Meenchestaire Island as well

[She gets up & goes into her hut-type-thing to gather some supplies]

*^*Indi*^*

[Indi is just sitting on a giant flower, reading a book]

Indi: La la la, my book, my book, my book. :)

__________________________________________________________________________________

|I had some spare time so I made a character guide|

[character]

-[wish] (if they have one)

--[some background]

[Jesse] (main character, band of heroes)

-To be human again

--Turned into a raccoon while fighting with the dark overlord, has a magic bag of mostly fruit

[Lysci] (Dark Overlord)

-To rule the world

--Evil, Jesse's mortal enemy

[Luz] (Valkyrie)

--Works for Lysci, is sent to find & kill Jesse

[Fatima] (Mystic Guide)

--Jesse's 'guide', sends him to the Band & shows up to help him on his journey sometimes

[Kathryn] (Band of Heroes)

-To be human for a while

--Wolf, found Jesse

[Lilly] (Band of Heroes)

-For a bubble so she can live under water

--Centaur, falls into puddles, a bit of a germophobe & clutz, hatched from an egg & raised by a griffin

[Joel] (Band of Heroes)

-To know everything

--Dragon/Prius, Dragon prince, Lysci turned his mother into a Prius

[Derek] (Band of Heroes)

-To be the greatest wizard ever known

--He's invisible, no one knows exactly what he is, he can use magic


	8. Chapter 7: Sea Band

Jesse Chronicles: The Raccoon Saga

Chapter 7: Salty Sea-Band

(Warning: This chapter contains alcoholic references)

[Joel is rolling around on the Pack Blearl's poop-deck, Lilly & Kathryn are

exploring the cabins, & Derek and Jesse are looking at fish]

Joel: Gosh, this boat is slow, we should have taken a power boat

Jesse: But if we were going fast, then we couldn't see all these cool fish

Derek: Yeah; there's a blue one, and a red one, and a spotted one, and a holographic one :D

Joel: I get the point

Jesse: I am hungry though. We need to find food as soon as we land

Derek: Yeah

[Lilly & Kathryn come back up onto the deck holding a bunch

of bottles]

Lilly: We found rum!

Kathryn: Spack has his entire storage full of this stuff

Joel: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!....I don't want any

Jesse: Me neither

Kathryn: Forget y'all then, we're drinking

Lilly & Derek: Yay!

[Lilly, Kathryn, & Derek begin drinking deep into the night and start

singing odd songs such as the Spongebob classic: "Krusty Krab Pizza".

Joel & Jesse just play cards around the wheel]

Jesse: Got any 3s?

Joel: Go fish

Derek: Ok!

[Derek jumps overboard in search of a 3]

Jesse: Derek! :O

Joel: Can he swim? o.0

[Joel & Jesse search over the side of the boat trying to find Derek.

Meanwhile, Kathryn & Lilly continue their drunken party]

Lilly: Derek! Stop ignoring me! D:

Jesse: Derek's overboard!

Lilly: No, he's right here

Kathryn: No, he's over here

Joel: That's the mast....

Jesse: I'm telling you he's overboard

Lilly: Over or under?

Jesse: Over

Lilly: Why?

Jesse: We don't know, he just jumped

Joel: Now he's lost

Kathryn: Better him than the rum. ***drink***

Jesse: Ok, ok, that's enough

[Jesse takes all the rum away from Kathryn & Lilly & throws it all overboard]

Lilly: NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Kathryn: D:

Jesse: We're going to save Derek

Kathryn: Oh, fine

Joel: There he is!

Jesse: How do you know it's Derek?

Joel: He has a seaweed hat on

Derek: La la la, I has a hat!

[Derek is floating away, on a bed of sea foam]

Joel: Derek!

Derek: Yes, Mrs. Pobble?

Joel: 0.o You are never drinking again

[Jesse throws one of those floaty-save-ring things]

Jesse: Grab on, Derek!

Derek: But what about my hat?

Jesse: It can come too!

Derek: Ok!

[Derek gets into the ring and is pulled safely back onto the ship]

Joel: Ok, no more drinking and no more leaving the ship for anybody

Kathryn: You aren't the boss of us!

Lilly: Yeah! I can walk off the plank if I want to!

Kathryn: And I can go swimming!

Jesse: Joel, you know what we must do

Joel: Yes

[Joel & Jesse tie Kathryn to the mast]

Jesse: Lilly, don't move from the plank. We're going for more rope

Lilly: Why shouldn't I?

Joel: You'll get more rum if you stay there, just don't move

Lilly: :D Ok!

[Just as Jesse & Joel get back with rope

Lilly gets eaten by a sea serpent 0.0]

Joel: Oh, no

Jesse: What do we do now?

Derek: I'll save her!

Joel: Do NOT jump into the water again

Derek: Shhhhhhhhhhh~, I must concentrate on this delicate procedure

Joel & Jesse: 0.o

[Derek drains the ocean away from the sea serpent so it's left to flop

around on the ocean floor]

Joel & Jesse: O.O Wow

Derek: Now I'll finish saving Lilly by using this bomb! ***holds up huge bomb* **

Jesse: No no no, I'll finish saving her. You just uh, go to sleep

Derek: But the rum gave me better powers :(

Jesse: Sleepy time for Derek

Derek: :( Fine

[Jesse jumps into the dry spot to defeat the serpent

...but it already died from lack of oxygen]

Jesse: I finally discover my powers and the thing's already dead .

Lilly: Jesse? Is that you?

Jesse: I'm here Lilly

Lilly: Get me out of here! It smells..... and I don't think it's very sanitary in here .

Jesse: Well, there is a way you can just crawl out

Lilly: EEEEEEWWWWWW, I don't want to be poo!

Jesse: I was thinking just back out it's mouth

Lilly: Oh, I guess that's not as bad as the other end

[Lilly gallops out of the serpent's mouth, covered in saliva]

Lilly: Eew, I'm all sticky~ . I need a bath

Jesse: Too bad there isn't a shower on the ship

Lilly: Why do these things always happen to me? T-T

Joel: Are you ok, Lilly?

Lilly: No, I'm sticky and sober :(

[Lilly and Jesse climb back onto the ship

the Band is ready for a peaceful sail]

Joel: I think the worst is over

Jesse: Yeah, now that Lilly sobered up, Kathryn's tied up, and Derek is busy talking to his hat in his cabin; I think we're finally going to make it to Meenchestaire without further problems

[I rumble is heard by the ship]

Joel: What now?

[A giant jellyfish rises from the water 0.0]

Jesse: What the fruit?!?

Joel: Where did that thing come from?!?

Derek: Jerry! :D

Joel & Jesse: Jerry? 0.o

Derek: My buddy from the sand bar

Jerry: Derek! You forgot your scarf

[Jerry hands Derek a piece of seaweed which is apparently a scarf]

Derek: Thanks! Hey, do you want to come to Meenchestaire with us?

Jerry: Well I have to get back home to the wife and kids, but the island isn't too far so I'll accompany you all for a bit

Derek: Sounds like a plan! Let me introduce you to everyone: this is Jesse, and Mrs. Pobble, and-

[Jerry gets swooped away by a giant eagle]

Derek: JJJJJJJEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRYYYYYY ;______;

Joel & Jesse: 0.0

Derek: No! He owed me a cracker!

Jesse: It'll be ok, Derek

Derek: ***Sniffle***

Joel: Well, lets get back to the journey

Derek: But but but but but but

Jesse: He's right Derek, we have to continue with the journey

Derek: Yeah, he's right

[And so, the Band turned the sails and continued their journey to

Meenchestaire Island and the remaining 5 scepters]

Kathryn: Untie me already~

Jesse: Yeah, we should probably do that

Joel: or not

Kathryn: Guys? Please?

Jesse: Are you sober?

Kathryn: Am I what?

Joel: We'll untie you in the morning

Kathryn: 0.0

~*~End~*~


	9. Chapter 8: Landed Sanded

Jesse Chronicle: The Raccoon Saga

Chapter 8: Landed and Sanded

|I would like to begin the chapter with a moment of silence for the late jellyfish: Jerry

…..........

Jerry was a good jellyfish: he was a good husband to his wife, Shella (← pun), a loving

father to his children, Sandy and Aquaman, and he was a positive contributor to the

community; he will probably best be remembered for his work keeping kids away from

seaweed (ha, another pun). Well, rest in peace Jerry, you will always be in our hearts|

[The Band is on the ship, on course for Meenchestaire Island

Joel & Jesse are still on the deck, Kathryn is tied up, Derek is in his

cabin, and Lilly is seasick (or hung over, you can decide)

– throwing up over the side of the ship]

Kathryn: Ew! If the two of you aren't going to untie me then at least turn me so I don't have to be facing Lilly anymore

Lilly: I'm sorry, Kathryn. This ship just rol- ***Vomit***

Kathryn: Ewwwww~

Joel: That's what happens when you drink too much

Jesse: Yes, we should all learn a lesson from this

Kathryn: Lesson learned, now untie me, please~ I'm sober, I'm sober

Jesse: Alright, alright already

Joel: Are we talking in twos now now?

Kathryn: Quiet, hybrid!

Joel: :P Just stay up there then then

Kathryn: No~ I want to get down~

Lilly: ***Vomit***

Kathryn: I'm sorry~ Now untie me~

Joel: Oh, fine

[Joel unties Kathryn, who then runs into the cabin away from

Lilly's sickliness]

Derek: Ah, hello, Mr. Seebee

Kathryn: How are you still drunk? It's been a day since Jesse took the rum away

Derek: What are you talking about, Mr. Seebee? I'm not drunk

Kathryn: Yes, you are

Derek: No, I'm not

Kathryn: Go to sleep

Derek: Ok ***sleep***

Kathryn: 0.o Ok

[Meanwhile, Jesse climbs up to the crow's nest]

Jesse: Wow, there's a lot of water out here

Joel: Do you see the island?

Jesse: ***Search***

Joel: Well?

Jesse: :D Land over there!

Lilly: Finall- ***Vomit***

Jesse: We're almost there..

[The Band finally reaches Meenchestaire Island, relived they all flop

out of the boat and on to sand]

Lilly: Sweet land!

Joel: We're finally on Meenchestaire

Jesse: Where's Derek?

Lilly: And Kathryn?

[Back in the cabin: Kathryn is holding a pillow contemplating

whether or not to smother Derek]

Kathryn: If he's gone, then I'll just have to get rid of Lilly and the rest of the rum will be mine

Jesse: Kathryn?! Where are you?

Kathryn: Oh, um ***Drop pillow*** I'm in the cabin with Derek

Jesse: Well get out here, we've landed

Kathryn: Ok!

[Kathryn drags Derek out of the cabin then off the ship]

Lilly: Wow, he's a heavy sleeper

Kathryn: Yup

Jesse: We should wake him up

[The awake Band begins searching for sticks to which to

poke Derek awake with]

Lilly: A stick, a stick, a stick

Kathryn: Found one!

Jesse: Got a stick!

Joel: Piece of wood!

Lilly: Ugh, where did all the sticks go?

[Lilly wanders a bit into the close forest to try and find a stick]

Lilly: Stick, stick, where is a stick?

Wolf: Here is one

Lilly: Oh, thank you

Wolf: You're welcome

Lilly: 0.0

Wolf: 0.o

Lilly: Don't eat me! I don't want to die! ***Flee***

Wolf: No! I'm not going to eat you! Wait! You forgot your stick!

[Lilly speeds back to the Band and runs into Kathryn]

Lilly: ***Scream*** I don't want to be prey!

Kathryn: What is your problem?!?

Lilly: Oh, hi, Kathryn

Joel: Did you eat something weird in the forest?

Lilly: No! :P I was being hunted D:

Band: :O

Kathryn: Hunted?!?

Derek: Punted?

Lilly: No, a huge wolf was stalking me in the forest

Band: 0.0

Jesse: That wasn't nice

Lilly: D: I was so scared so I ran

Joel: Oh, really?

Lilly: Yeah

Kathryn: Well it's gone now so calm down

Joel: Wait, where exactly was this wolf?

Lilly: In the forest

Joel: -_-

Jesse: Well, we're going to have to go through the forest

Lilly: 0.0 Why??

Derek: Yeah, why? Weren't we just getting away from the tribal people then going back to the mainland?

Jesse: No, we came to Meenchestaire because the rest of the scepters are here – if you weren't drinking you would know that

Kathryn: Really?

~Flashback~

[Joel & Jesse are on the ship deck]

Joel: So, how far should we go before we turn back?

Jesse: Actually, I thought this would be a good opportunity to go the Meenchestaire Island where the rest of the scepters are

Joel: Oh, ok, sounds like a plan

Jesse: I'm glad you agree

Joel: Want to play cards?

Jesse: Sure

~Flash-forward~

Jesse: See?

Kathryn: Ok

Lilly: So we do have to go into the forest?

Jesse: Yeah

Joel: We'll keep the wolves away from you you though

Derek: Or we'll just try

Lilly: I don't feel any better....

[Despite Lilly's pouting the Band sets off into the forest]

Joel: There's some poison ivy, some poison oak, some thorn bushes, some snake holes

Lilly: SHUT UP, JOEL

Joel: 0.0

Kathryn: Lilly's really on edge

Derek: Yeah, she could use some rum

Jesse: Didn't you all learn a lesson back on the boat?

Derek: Yeah, sea serpent saliva makes really good hair gel

Lilly: What?

Derek: He he he

Lilly: Derek, what did you do??

[Joel, Jesse, & Kathryn look back at Lilly to notice she has a

mohawk going down her back]

Joel: ROFL

Lilly: ;_; It's not funny

Joel: Yes it is, everyone's laughing

Kathryn: Actually only you're laughing

Joel: What? No, I hear more laughter

[The Band gets quiet to listen and hear giggling coming from

behind a bush off to the side]

Band: 0.0

Kathryn: Who's there?

[Silence]

Kathryn: Show yourselves or I will go in there and get you D:

[2 little wolf pups whimper out from behind the bush]

Pup: We're sorry, Lara, these creature you found are just so funny

Kathryn: Lara?

Pups: 0.o

Joel: I think these two are lost

Derek: I think they're edible

Pups: D:

[Before anyone can smack Derek for being so silly, a large white

wolf materializes out of thin air]

Wolf: Hurt one of them and I'll bite you in half

Derek: 0.0 I'm sorry

Jesse: He was just kidding

Wolf: And what are you doing with this riff raff group?

Kathryn: Me?

Wolf: Yes, you. You're supposed to be pupsitting today

Kathryn: I think you have me confused with someone else

[Another wolf runs up to the white wolf]

2nd Wolf: I'm sorry, Azaria. I was playing hide and seek with the pups, then I saw this centaur galloping around the forest and I went back to tell you

Pups: Lara!

Azaria: So you just left them alone in the forest?!?

Lilly: That's the wolf that tried to eat me! :O

Derek: Whoa! She looks exactly like Kathryn! :O

Joel: Fernando and Maria are having an affair! :O

Kathryn: This is all so much drama _

~*~End~*~


	10. Chapter 9: Duel Pack

Jesse Chronicles: The Raccoon Saga

Chapter 9: Meenchestaire Duel Pack

[The Band and wolves are still in their standoff]

Jesse: Um, how about we all calm down and talk these things through

Kathryn: Good idea – Allow us to introduce ourselves, I'm Kathryn

Joel: I'm Joel

Derek: I'm Derek

Lilly: I'm Lilly

Jesse: And I'm Jesse

Azaria: I am Azaria, I'm the spirit guardian of Meenchestaire's pack. What are you all doing in our territory?

Kathryn: We're in search of the 6 scepters for the fairy, Indi

Azaria: Ah, so you've come for the Sunny scepter

Joel: You know where it is?

Azaria: I know everything in this territory

Lilly: That makes sense

Lara: And if I may interrupt a bit, I'm sorry if I scared you earlier, I really wasn't hunting you

Lilly: Oh, I guess I overreacted

Joel: She thought she was going to die

Azaria: Well someone is going to die if these pups don't get back to the den with a certain chaperone

Lara: ;_; I'll go right away

[Lara and the pups venture away into the forest]

Jesse: That was a little harsh

Azaria: Sometimes you have to use a bit of force to be listened to

Kathryn: I'll keep that in mind

Azaria: So where are you all from?

Kathryn: We're from the mainland

Azaria: Ah, so you've come quite a long way. Please, come stay with me and the pack

Kathryn: Would that be ok?

Azaria: Of course, beside you should rest up and have a good night before you all die on the mountain

Band: O.O What?!?

Azaria: I'll explain later, follow me now

[So the Band follows Azaria through the forest until the trees

reveal a society of giant wolves]

Joel: Wow, it's a bunch of Kathryns

Kathryn: They're just other wolves

Lilly: Are you sure it was a good idea to come here? They're all watching us like we're on plates

Azaria: I assure you're perfectly safe as long as you behave yourselves

Jesse: That means no eating puppies, Derek

Derek: I said I was sorry :(

[Azaria and the Band enter a large den]

Lilly: Claustrophobia....

[They walk and walk until they turn a corner to stand in a large

room where 2 extra large wolves are sitting with a certain valkyrie]

|Dun dun dun|

1st Wolf: More intruders?

2nd Wolf: Azaria, you are so good to bring us dinner

Lilly: I knew it!! We're all going to die!! D:

Derek: Calm down! ***Slaps Lilly***

Lilly: Um, thanks....

Azaria: They are also in search of the Sunny scepter

1st Wolf: Ah, I see. Well welcome travelers

2nd Wolf: Yes, welcome. I am Angeline and this is my mate, Stefan

Band: Pleased to meet you

Stefan: So, you are all also going to risk your lives on Mount Killaman?

Kathryn: Um, yes

Joel: Also?

Angeline: This is another traveler, Luz *P**oint***

Luz: Hello

Lilly: You're looking for scepters too?

Luz: Yes

Azaria: What luck, you all can have another addition to your group and maybe last longer on the mountain

Lilly: Yeah

Joel: Who said we wanted additions?

Luz: Who said I wanted to join?

Joel: Well we're both looking for the scepters

Azaria: Then why not let her join? After all there are 6 scepters and only 5 in your group

Kathryn: She's right, maybe Luz is the final member

Joel: Maybe (Something doesn't seem right about this)

Kathryn: So, Luz, will you join us on our journey?

Luz: Um

Joel: Let's at least vote on this

Kathryn: Fine, all in favor say "Aye"

Lilly & Derek: Aye!

Kathryn: Jesse?

[Jesse is hiding behind Kathryn (as a raccoon he has a natural fear

of predatory birds)]

Jesse: Um, well if she promises not to eat me then sure...

Luz: I give my word I will not eat you (Lysci wants your fur for a hat *E**vil laugh***)

Jesse: Ok.....then..um...I guess..ok

Kathryn: You're outnumbered, Joel

Joel: Fine, if you all insist then I'll deal with the fowl

Luz: Fowl? *E**vil glare***

Kathryn: Quiet, Hybrid! I'm sorry about him, welcome to the Band, Luz

Lilly: Yeah, welcome

Luz: Thank you (Idiots)

Angeline: So nice to see peace, rest here tonight and you can all go up the mountain tomorrow

Band (Now featuring Luz): Thank you

Stefan: Azaria, do guide them to the guest den then bring them back for the feast

Lilly: Feast? :F (← Drool)

Azaria: Tonight is the Jaro Festival, it celebrates one of our epic heroes

|Mt. Kilimanjaro in Africa – just in case you weren't getting it|

Derek: Will there be rum?

Stefan: Of course

Joel & Jesse: Oh, no, here we go again

~*~End~*~


	11. Chapter 10: Festival of Jaro

Jesse Chronicles: The Raccoon Saga

Chapter 10: The Festival of Jaro

[The Band is relaxing in the guest den, preparing for the upcoming

festivities]

Lilly: I think this party is going to be so much fun

Joel: You just want to get drunk again..

Derek: Alcohol gives me better powers, wouldn't that come in handy on the mountain? Apparently it's going to be dangerous going up there

Jesse: Did they ever explain the dangerous part?

Kathryn: No, actually, we'll have to remember to ask tomorrow before we leave

Lilly: Rum!

Kathryn: Where?!

[A pair of wolves pass the den rolling barrels of rum]

Jesse: Didn't you all learn your lessons on the ship?

Lilly: Well....

Kathryn: Um....

Derek: Yes

Joel: No, you learned a lesson but not the important one

Derek: What's more important than: Drink = Ultra-Mega-Total Power Boost?

Jesse: That getting drunk causes problems

Derek: Like what?

Joel: Lilly almost got eaten

Derek: Lilly always almost gets eaten

Joel: Kathryn threatened to jump out into the ocean

Kathryn: I did?

Jesse: Yes

Derek: She likes to swim

Joel: You almost drowned

Derek: Wrong, I did drown

Band: 0.o What?

Derek: Jerry saved me though.............. ***Sob***

Jesse: Derek, it's not your fault

Derek: Don't do that

Joel: It's not your fault

Derek: No

Jesse: It's not your fault

Luz: Gah, are you people always this dramatic? I'm trying to sleep but I can't with all the screaming

Joel: Well maybe you should just sleep somewhere else :P

Luz: Maybe you should get rolled off a cliff :P

Kathryn: Stop it, both of you. We're supposed to be a band of friends not a traveling argument

Luz: He started it

Joel: Taddle-tale

Luz: Last year's model

Joel: ;_;

Jesse: Can't we all just get along?

Luz & Joel: ***Evil Glare***

Azaria: Knock knock, ***Walk in*** I hope I'm not interrupting anything important

Kathryn: Nah

Azaria: Ok, then. Are you all prepared for the festival?

Lilly & Derek: Yeah!

[The Band follows Azaria out of the den and into the town center

where a great festival has been set up]

Azaria: Have fun

Lilly & Derek: Where's the rum?!?

Azaria: Over there ***Point***

[Lilly & Derek skedaddle off to the barrels]

Joel: Why? Now they're going to get drunk

Azaria: Are they really that bad when they're drunk?

Derek: Hurry up, Mrs. Pobble, you're missing the fun!

Joel: -_- Yes

Azaria: Oh, they can't be that bad~

[Derek and Lilly are drinking & rolling in the rum]

Azaria: Ok, I see your point

Angeline: Come everyone, we are to tell the tale of Jaro, the hero of Mt. Killaman

Derek: Story time!!!!

Lilly: ***High pitched squeal***

[Lilly & Derek scramble to sit right in the very front of the group]

Angeline: Ok, long long ago there was a wolf named Jaro.

Derek: Wow~

Angeline: 0.o Um, ok.... Well, Jaro was a great warrior, the greatest warrior of the pack

Lilly: Really?!?

Angeline: Yes, really... Now then, Jaro was sent up the nearby mountain, to kill a man who had trespassed into our territory

Derek: Why??

Angeline: Because – So Jaro traveled up the mountain to find the man

Lilly: What kind of man?

Angeline: Ugh! You two do nothing but interrupt! He went up, found the man, fought him but the man was a magician, so he turned Jaro into a fairy named Indi then in his memory we named the mountain Mt. Killaman!

Derek: Wow~ O.O

[Kathryn drags Derek & Lilly back to the den]

Kathryn: I apologize, these two can't hold their liquor too well

Angeline: Just take them away please

Lilly: Weeeeeeee~

Derek: Ew, Kathryn, you need some rum to freshen up your breath

Kathryn: Derek, I'll eat you if you don't shut up

Derek: 0.0

Joel: Did you just say Jaro became the Indi?

Angeline: Ugh! No more questions! ***Storm away***

Luz: Nice going

Joel: Um, I think we're in trouble

Azaria: A bit, y'all should probably get going now

Lilly: But but but

Joel: Let's go

[So after dragging Derek out of the den again, the Band ran out

of the vicinity and up Mt. Killaman with Azaria]

Azaria: At the top of this mountain is Kukumoonoo, the demon of the mountain – he has the scepter

Jesse: So we just have to defeat him and get the scepter

Azaria: Basically

Kathryn: Sounds easy enough

Azaria: I must return to the pack, good luck Band

Kathryn: Thank you for everything, Azaria

[Azaria begins back down the mountain and the Band is left

to plan]

Jesse: Here we go

Joel: For the next scepter

Jesse: Did you ever ask about why this mountain was so dangerous?

Kathryn: We didn't get the chance -_-

Derek: Mrs. Pobble! Get out of the hole!

Joel: What are you talking about?

[Derek falls to the ground]

Joel: Derek? Answer me. Ugh, fine, whatever, let's just get going

[And so the Band began its accent up the mountain

WITHOUT DEREK :O]

~*~End~*~


	12. Chapter 10,5: Jesse's SubChap

**Chapter 10.5: Derek's "Adventure"**

Hey everybody, you were probably expecting KineAvai to show up with this chapter, but she was given the day off by me Yoshi'snumber1friend. I'm actually Jesse the raccoon in this story (no lie). Anyways, since she was given the day off because she's my best buddy and she deserves it for being an awesome writer I'm in charge of this chapter, so here you goes.

When we last left off, our heroes were at Meechanstaire having an awesome time partying, or in Derek and Lilly's case, rolling around getting drunk. Now the band excluding Derek, who passed out due to rum poisoning (yes it exists) went to the mountain to get the next scepter, but unfortunately for Derek, he's all alone without a map...

Derek: (Wakes up groggily) Aw man, Mrs. Pobble and I are never ordering those again... wait, where did everybody go? Oh no! They left without me!!!! How will I find them? How will I get back to- OOOOOO RUM!!!!! :D.

Derek had spotted a left over bottle of rum from the feast. He eagerly ran over and started drinking, only to find that none was left.

Derek: Darn! :(. Guess I'd better find them then while... (shudders) being sober...

So Derek decided to begin his search in the magical forest of Meechanstaire. At first his morals were high, then as his journey went on he tired out and eventually got so tired he could only crawl.

Derek: (Panting, sweaty, gasping) Oh my gosh, must. Keep. Continuing.

Just then a local ant passed by, but stopped to look at Derek because his strange floating hat and scarf tipped him off.

Ant: Dude, that's just sad, you've only walked 3 feet from over there.

Derek: Easy for you to say, you didn't climb that huge rock.

Ant: -_- that's a pebble.

Derek: Well EXCUSE me for not being a great rock climber like you! :(

Ant: Seriously, you could have just stepped over it...

Derek: Yeah! Well forget you! I'm leaving! (Crawls onward)

Ant: Oh yeah... he's not gonna make it.

Later as Derek crawled through the forest, he came upon many strange sights that were foresty and magical, and magically foresty. Anyway, Derek finally came upon a few birds that were fighting over a strange looking jacket that was colored greenish-brownish.

Bird 1: No! It's mine! The mountain lord eagle gave it to me!

Bird: No! He gave it to me first, so it's mine.

Derek: Hey guys, why are you fighting over the jacket?

Bird 1: Well, our eagle lord on the mountain gave us this very precious and expensive eagle jacket, and I had it first.

Bird 2: You mean I had it first!

Bird 1: OH yeah?!?

So as the birds resumed their bickering Derek asked what material the jacket was, and the birds told him seaweed. This prompted a thought in Derek's mind, and that thought was that he needed a jacket like that to go with his scarf and hat.

Derek: (In his mind) I want that jacket! I will take it from them!

Just then an angel Derek and an evil Derek appeared on opposite shoulders.

Angel Derek: (In a high pitched British accent) No Derek, you can't take stuff from these poor poor creatures!

Evil Derek: (In a deeper toned Australian accent) Sure you can, I mean look at that, they left the jacket on the ground, that must mean they don't want it!

Angel Derek: But-

Derek: Bad Derek wins! I'm getting my jacket now!

So as Derek ran to the jacket, the Good and Bad Dereks were left floating in the air.

Angel Derek: If he gets killed I'm blaming you!

Evil Derek: Hey, just because he doesn't have that much of a visible body, doesn't mean he can't have good clothes!

Angel Derek: I must admit you do have a good point.

Evil Derek: Thanks!

Angel Derek: No problem buddy!

(With Derek)

Derek: Alright! I got the jacket, and those eagles didn't even notice. :D

Bird 1: What didn't we notice?

Derek: Um, that your shoes untied?

Bird 1: Oh hey thanks! (Stoops down to tie shoes, but stops) Hey wait a minute!

But by then Derek was already running away really fast.

Bird 2: Get him!

So the birds chased Derek all over the forest, Derek was somehow faster than the birds and kept a good lead away from them. Finally Derek ducked behind a tree and watched the birds go past.

Derek: Phew! Finally lost em'. :D

Birds 1 and 2: (In front of him) Ahem!

Derek: :O

Then Derek tried to run away again, but the birds grabbed his jacket and pulled him back!

Derek: Please don't hurt me!

Bird 1: Just give us the jacket back and we won't. :(

Derek: Never!

Bird 2: :( Then this'll only hurt a lot!

Derek: Oh noes! :O

Just then it occurred to Derek that he could teleport, and right as he got punched in the eye he teleported. Unfortunately the impact from the punch made him lose control of the teleport and he teleported himself off the edge of a cliff!

Derek: (Now with a somehow visible black spot where his eye would be) OH CRUD! AHHHHH!!!!!!

As Derek was falling he started writing his will, which consisted of only one thing, to be buried with Jerry so he could get back the $50 Jerry got from him by accident.

Derek: This looks like the end! I can't look!

Just then, a ghostly image of Jerry (which actually looked like a blue transparent Jerry) appeared next too Derek.

Ghost Jerry: OOOOOooo... Derek! I have a message for you!

Derek: Oh my gosh! It's Jerry's spirit! Are you a jedi?

Ghost Jerry: What? No! Listen, I've come to teach you a new ability you can use only once.

Derek: What good is it if I can use it only once?

Ghost Jerry: Listen, just let me tell you, say some certain words, and you will be transported to a path that leads you to your friends!

Derek: Alright! Sweet, what do I have to say to use this power?

Ghost Jerry: I actually have no idea, you have to ask yourself.

Derek: But how will I use a power I just found out that I had?

Ghost Jerry: Well, IDK, but you might wanna figure out fast.

Derek: (Sarcasm) Gee thanks!

Ghost Jerry: (Actually serious) You're welcome, say hi to Mrs. Pobble for me! (fades away)

Derek: So do I just say some kind of spell magic words like Alakazam? Abracadabra? Derek-kazam? Magicsundea?

Just as Derek was about to hit the ground he was suddenly transported away to some part of the forest.

Derek: Wow! It worked! I knew it was crabcakes! :D But where do I go next?

Just then some kind of small eagle got out of a nearby bush.

Derek: Ah! Not you again!

Eagle: What? No I'm not those guys, and I'm here to help you see the next path!

Derek: Great! So where is it?

Eagle: Right behind you.

Derek: (Turns around) OH hey it is!

Eagle: You probably won't even make it into the scepter's cave, our great lord Kukumoonoo guards the scepter.

Derek: Wait, did he kill a jellyfish on the way here?

Eagle: Yes, why?

Derek: I'm going in... AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

Derek charged in bravely like a Spartan or a jedi, and maybe even like Alexander the Great. But because was kinda out of shape from the rum, the feast, and not using his legs cause he floats all the time, so he got really tired again.

Derek: Aw man! I'll never make it at this rate!

Just then, a giant floating octopus came.

Derek: Oh no! Not the Kraken!

Kraken: Okay, what the heck is with people, me, and the Kraken? Every darned time they get scared and say "Ah! It's the Kraken."

Derek: Well, sorry, but you are big and scary?

Kraken: Look do you need a ride up or not?

Derek: Oh well in that case you're now the giant friendly octopus! Or Terry.

Terry: (Sigh) That's the worst name yet, all right! Let's go.

So Derek and the octopus (or Terry) floated up the mountain and finally landed on the top, and Derek jumped off and prepared to face Kukumoonoo.

Derek: Alright CoComuunuu! Come out wherever you are! And Terry is right behind me... Terry?

But to Derek's surprise, Terry had disappeared.

Derek: Oh crud!

Just then, a giant eagle landed in front of him.

Derek: Oh noes! It's Cocomoonoo!

Kukumoonoo: No It's Kukumoonoo the DEMON OF MT. KILLAMAN.

Derek: Same difference.

Kukumoonoo: No it isn't, so you think just cause a name sounds the same doesn't mean it is the same thing, haven't you ever heard of those um... uh... yamaphones...no... um... homaphanes...

Derek: Homophones?

Kukumoonoo: Oh now you're calling me homo huh? You jerk!

Derek: Crud! This isn't going so well.

Kukumoonoo: I was gonna ask if you want the scepter, but now you'll die!

Derek: Aw come on! Can't we settle this over a pint?

Kukmoonoo: Well... I suppose we cou- hey no way! I'm not an alcoholic!

Derek: Crud!! (To be Continued by Kine cause I already did more work than she did.)

Me: Well, I suppose that is good for now. So this has been another installment of the office (I wish) anyway, bye!


	13. Chapter 11: MtKillaman

Jesse Chronicles: The Raccoon Saga

Chapter 11: Mt. Killaman

|Hey everyone, I hope you enjoyed Jesse's chapter – more characters will be guest

writing so look forward to those! Anyway, I'm back for a while so enjoy: back to the

main story by me~|

[So, the story was left off with Derek about to be attacked by Kukumoonoo]

Kukumoonoo: ***Evil Cackle***

Derek: 0.0 Uh oh

[Kukumoonoo begins to swoop down 0.0 his claws get about this close to

Derek's head → | | :O When Kukumoonoo's tackled! By Azaria!]

Derek: 0.0 Whoa

Kathryn: Derek!

Derek: Band?!

[The rest of the Band is running up to Derek by the mountain path]

Joel: Derek! Good to see you're ok.....and well dressed

Derek: Thank you :)

Azaria: Um, guys a little help over here

Jesse: We have to help Azaria!

Kathryn: Yeah!

Derek: NO

Band: 0.o ??

Derek: This is my fight...I must avenge Jerry...

[Derek goes in slow motion towards Kukumoonoo, he then goes into

a battle montage: punching, kicking, and magically shooting the demon

until he's a a giant roasted bird on the ground]

Band: 0.0 Whoa

Derek: Jerry, has now been avenged

Jesse: Couldn't you have kept him a live for a bit so he could tell us where the scepter was?

Derek: Um, that might have been a good plan....

Lilly: Maybe Luz can fly up and find it

Kathryn: Yeah! Hey Luz, you should do that. ***Look Around* **Luz?

Jesse: Where did she go?

Joel: I knew we couldn't trust her

Kathryn: You're just jumping to conclusions, maybe she thought ahead & is looking for the scepter already

Azaria: No, I must tell you all something

Band: 0.o ??

Azaria: When she first entered our territory, I knew was evil

Band: :O Evil?!?

Azaria: She works for Lysci

Joel: I knew she was bad

Kathryn: But if you knew she was evil, why did you suggest she join our team?

Azaria: I thought you could keep an eye on her, but apparently I was wrong because now she's missing

Lilly: We did mess up a bit there

Jesse: Because we trusted her....

Kathryn: Well that doesn't matter now, we have to find her before she finds the scepter

Luz: You insipid ducks

Derek: We're not ducks!

Joel: :O Luz

[Luz is standing on a branch of a nearby tree]

Luz: Ha ha ha, you were all standing here talking for 10 minutes while I found this

Band: D: She has the scepter

[Luz has the scepter D: ]

Luz: Yup, and now I will return this to my dark mistress

Lilly: Oh no you won't

Luz: Oh, yes I will. Then I'll be back to exterminate Jesse

Jesse: 0.0

Kathryn: No, we won't let you go. Band, get her!

[The Band & Azaria prepare to battle, but before they can do anything

Luz simply starts to fly away]

Luz: Na na na na na na, later losers

Jesse: No!

[Luz flies away from the band and the mountain]

Derek: :( We lost a scepter

Joel: And Lysci gained one

[Dun dun dun]

Lilly: So what are we supposed to do now?

Jesse: We have to get the rest of the scepters before Lysci, she may have two but we have-

Joel: One..

Kathryn: Well there's 3 more we can still get, but we have to hurry.

Azaria: Yes, you all must hurry

Kathryn: And what will you do?

Azaria: I know where the next scepter is, I will send you in that direction then return to my pack

Jesse: That will be a lot of help

Kathryn: Thank you, Azaria

Azaria: I wish I could do more for you all since I kind of caused y'all losing the last one :(

Joel: Good point

Kathryn: Well band, to the next scepter we go

Jesse: Where is it?

Azaria: It's in the Woo forest

Jesse: Isn't that forest really dangerous?

Azaria: That's why you have to go around the forest first, find the King of the nearby empire and ask for his assistance.

Lilly: Sounds simple enough

Derek: But wouldn't it be faster to just go through the forest?

Azaria: Yes, but you have to go around or risk terrible fortune coming upon you all

Band: 0.0

Azaria: Good luck, Band

Jesse: Thank you, Azaria

[Azaria walks away from the Band who are then left on the mountain

to plan their next expedition]

Derek: Well then, shall we be going?

Kathryn: I guess we have to

Derek: Rum break first?

Band: NO!

Joel: We have to hurry up and find the next scepter

Kathryn: And you and Lilly are still drunk anyway.

Lilly: Wait! What?

Derek: Ok, ok, fine. Gosh Lilly, hold it better.

Lilly: ;_;

Jesse: Let's get going

Kathryn: Yeah, lets

[So the Band set off to find the king so they may safely enter the forest

and find the 4th scepter]

Derek: Are you sure we can't stop for a drinky drink?

Band: WE'RE SURE!

Derek: 0.0

~*~The End~*~


	14. Chapter 12: Winding Path

Jesse Chronicles: The Raccoon Saga

Chapter 12: The Winding Path

[The Band has made their way down the mountain and are now

on a winding path leading to the Woo forest]

Lilly:Why do these paths always wind?

Kathryn: Because that's how they're built

Lilly: But seriously, this path could have easily been a straight line

Jesse: Lilly, I think this is just one of those things you'll never know the answer to

Derek: Like where babies come from or why water is wet

Lilly: We know where babies come from

Derek: What?!

Jesse: I don't....

Derek: Well that makes two of us.

Joel: Ok...., well water is wet because it's a liquid

Derek: That doesn't make any sense

Joel: Fine, it's wet because it is rum's cousin; it's a family trait -_-

Derek: Now that makes sense :D

Kathryn: How about some quiet time?

Derek: Gosh, Kathryn, you're so uptight now – you should have had some rum

Kathryn: I'm not uptight :P I'm just upset that you and Lilly got us kicked out of there

Joel: Ooooo~ Derek and Lilly got in trouble

Derek & Lilly: Quiet Hybrid!

Joel: 0.0

|The conversation continues like this for a while so I'm skipping some parts|

(FF)

Derek: So I was like, "Dude, you so owe me a piece of gum."

(FF)

Lilly: And I swear, the ant was this freaking big ***Hold up hands about an inch apart***

(FF)

Joel: And that is why the duck crossed the road

Derek: Wow, but why didn't the worm buy the hat instead?

Joel: Because the car was cheaper

Jesse: We have the weirdest conversations

Kathryn: Seriously

Lilly: I'm tired....

Jesse: Maybe we should rest for a bit

Kathryn: No, we have to find the scepter before Lysci

Joel: You mean Luz

Kathryn: Either way Lysci gets it

Joel: But Luz is the one sent to actually get the scepter

Kathryn: Quiet Hybrid!

Joel: :(

Lilly: I'm tired~

Band: We know!

Lilly: ;_;

Kathryn: We'll rest when we reach the emp-

[Kathryn walked into a statue :o ]

Kathryn: Ow~

Jesse: Are you ok?

Kathryn: Yeah yeah yeah, I'm fine

Derek: That's an interesting statue

[The Band gazes upon a statue of a unicorn]

Lilly: Pretty

Joel: Hey look, there are more ***Point***

[A trail of unicorn statues stretch as far as the eye can see into the forest]

Lilly: Let's follow

Jesse: We're not supposed to go through the forest, we have to go around it

Derek: It'll be faster to just go through

Kathryn: But it's dangerous

Derek: We've fought sea serpents, pirates, eagles, and peed-on bushes. What should we be scared of?

Joel: He has a point

Lilly: And you did say we were in a hurry

Kathryn: Ugh, how about we wait for a sign

-: Hoot! Don't go! Hoo!

Jesse: What was that?!?

Joel: An owl?

Owl: Go around! Hoo!

Lilly: Owls don't talk though

Derek: Thus it is a sign that we should just go through

Kathryn: What kind of logic is that?

Derek: The logical kind?

Jesse: That makes sense

Kathryn: Ugh, fine, we'll go through

[So the band set off into the forest leaving Fatima wearing an owl suit on

the branch of a tree]

Fatima: Ugh, dang it! I'm supposed to be listened to not ignored -_-

[And into the forest the Band went]

~*~End~*~

*~*Extra Reading*~*

|Hello readers! Kine here~ For your extra reading entertainment I have interviewed

some of the story's characters :D Enjoy~|

Kine: Hello, everyone!

Band: Hi!

Lysci: Hello

Fatima: Hi! :D

Joel: Why is Lysci here?

Kine: Because she's a major character, deal

Lysci: Yeah :P

Derek: She's not as important as us, this interview should be just the Band

Joel: Exactly

Lysci: Ugh

Fatima: What about me?

Kine: Stop stop stop, you are all important to the story and you are all being interviewed

Joel, Derek, & Lysci: -_-

Kine: Anyway we just have to wait for Indi so we can begin

Indi: I'm here! Sorry I'm late

Lilly: Convenient

Kine: Ok, now let's begin. How is everyone?

Lysci: I am pretty ok, I'm doing well, but i wish my minions would work harder -_-

Kine: Hey hey hey, no badmouthing the valkyrie

Joel: Why not? She's a meanie

Kine: -_- So, Indi, how are you?

Indi: I've been so bored, the Band needs to hurry up and find the scepters

Lilly: You could just grant our wishes now

Lysci: That actually sounds like a good idea

Indi: No! I want my scepters first

Kine: Understandable. Lilly? How are you?

Lilly: I'm good :)

Kine: That's good. Kathryn?

Everyone: ***Look around***

Kine: Grr, Kathryn isn't here

Jesse: Aw :(

Kine: She's probably busy, so let's move on to you, Jesse

Jesse: I'm good

Kine: Good. Joel?

Joel: I am....

Derek: Taking too long, ask me how I am

Joel: Hey!

Kine: You were taking too long. How are you, Derek?

Derek: Oh, I'm fine. Thanks for asking. Yourself?

Kine: Ah, I'm doing well, thank you. See, Derek has manners

Derek: :D

Kine: And how are you, Fatima?

Fatima: Life is great

Kine: Good to hear. So, what has everyone been up to?

Band: The journey

Kine: Of course, and how is that going?

Indi: Wait! Not everyone is on a journey. That's not fair

Kine: You'll get a turn, just wait

Indi: I don't wanna!

Kine: -_- What have you been up to, Indi?

Indi: I'm remodeling my house. I live in a magical tree house that looks like a castle. :)

Kine: Wow, ok

Lysci: I have been working on some other things recently, I mean besides my whole take over the world thing, I've been writing a memoirs book, and taking acting lessons.

Kine: Nice

Joel: She didn't ask you anything though

Lysci: I wanted a turn :P

Kine: Fatima?

Fatima: Oh, nothing

Kine: ..ok..Let's go to the Band then, how has the journey been?

Lilly: Hiding my stash of bottle caps :O

Jesse: You've had a stash this whole time?

Lilly: Oops, I wasn't supposed to say that D:

Kine: Well let's move on then, Jesse, how are you enjoying the journey?

Jesse: It's alright so far, I mean, I can't say it's been boring.

Kine: Just alright?

Jesse: Yeah

Kine: ;_; Ok, um, Joel?

Joel: Sure, I'm enjoying the journey

Kine: That's good, Derek?

Derek: Yes, I am enjoying it

Joel: You just like getting drunk

Derek: Yes, I am enjoying it

Kine: Okie Dokie, well let's finish this interview after lunch, shall we?

Lilly: Sounds good to me

Derek: I want my favorite snack! :D

Kine: What is it?

Derek: Italian....Or burgers

Kine: Those sound good

Joel: No, I want my favorite: Steak

Kine: Eh

Indi: Chocolate cake!

Kine: :9

Lilly: How about baby heads? :D

Everyone: 0.0

Lilly: Just kidding

Kine: Um, any other suggestions?

Jesse: Cantaloupe!

Kine: Yum, but not very filling

Fatima: I like Chinese :)

Lysci: The delicacy of grape carrot soup :9

Band: Oh no

Lysci: That and tacos

Kine: Oh, tacos sound good, let's do that

|This interview will be continued in further chapters, I hope you enjoyed and

learned something from this. Until next time: ~Kine~|


	15. Chapter 13: Woo Forest

Jesse Chronicles: The Raccoon Saga

Chapter 13: The Woo Forest

[The Band has been traveling through the Woo Forest, following the trail of

unicorn statues that go through the trees, gazing at all the statues]

Derek: :D This one has a curly horn!

Lilly: This one has really big eyes O_O

Kathryn: Oooh, that one over there is shiny :O

[The Band rushes to look at the shiny statue but they're stopped by a

magical force-field in the way]

Jesse: Whoa :O

Lilly: Ow ;_;

Kathryn: Where did this come from??

[A pixie flutters over to the Band]

Pixie: You can't go over there!

Derek: Why not?

Pixie: Because it's dangerous, that's why

Joel: How can a statue be dangerous?

Pixie: Just shut up and stay away from it

Joel: 0.0 Gosh, you're mean

Pixie: So?

-: Jennifer?!

Pixie: Um, yeah, stay away from the statue, eat your veggies, an-

[The pixie is caught by a large man who had come from further in the

forest]

Man: What do you think you're doing?

Pixie: I'm saving their lives :P

Man: Again with your stupid portal stories?

Jesse: Excuse me

Man & Pixie: WHAT DO YOU WANT?

Jesse: 0.0 I just wanted to introduce myself, I'm Jesse

Man: I'm Christian and this is Jennifer

Jennifer: Hi

Jesse: Hello

Jennifer: And who are the rest of you?

Lilly: I'm Lilly

Kathryn: I'm Kathryn

Joel: I'm Joel

Derek: And I am Derek

Jennifer: Cool, which one of you is the ventriloquist?

[Derek smacks Jennifer out of the air]

Derek: I'm a person :P

Jennifer: ;_; You didn't have to hit me though

Derek: Actually I did

Jennifer: Why is everyone so mean to me??

Christian: Because

Jennifer: ;_;

Kathryn: You two sound like such good friends

Jennifer: We're not friends -_- he captured me and made me search for scepters for him

Christian: Stupid pixie, you're not supposed to tell people what we're looking for!

Jennifer: :O …....Oops

Jesse: You're looking for scepters too?

Christian: Too?

Jesse: We're looking for scepters so we can have our wishes

Christian: Do you have any? 0.o

Joel: Wait, how do we know if we can even trust you?

Lilly: Pixies only hang around people with good intentions, so he must be trustworthy

Jennifer: Yeah, he's ok.....except for when he throws stuff at me :(

Christian: Quiet! Look, I'll show you my scepter ***Hold up spiky scepter***

Derek: Nice

Jesse: ***Hold up shiny scepter***

Christian: Ok, give it to me

Band: No!

Christian: But I need it to get my wish

Kathryn: Then why don't you just join our group so we can all get our wishes

Christian: Um...

Jennifer: They have good intentions~

Christian: Fine, I'll join

Band: Yeah! ***Jump up and freeze in the air***

Christian & Jennifer: 0.0 Wow

Joel: Let's set up camp

Jennifer: Get down first

Band: Um.....

Christian: Don't know how to get down?

Band: Nope

Christian: Pixie, get them down, chop chop

Jennifer: Ugh, I have a name

Christian: Just get them down

[So Jennifer pulled the Band down from their paused position

then together they made a camp site and sat together around a

large fire talking]

Derek: So then the log went roll roll roll all the way home

Joel: ;_; I love happy endings

Kathryn: ;_; Poor kangaroo though

Lilly: ;_; He was so brave

Christian: Are all campfire conversations like this?

Jesse: Pretty much, yeah

Christian: Wow

Jesse: Well I'm going to go find some food, anyone else want some?

Band (Now featuring Christian & Jennifer): Sure! :9

Jesse: Ok, but make sure to wash your hands first

Derek: But I'm going for the record :(

Lilly: 0.0 Eeewwwwwww

Kathryn: Derek, you have to wash your hands

[Jesse skedaddles into the forest ins search of fruit]

Jesse: Here fruit, come here fruit fruit fruit ***Whistle*** Oh, an apple tree!

[Jesse climbs up the tree to collect some apples.

While there he runs into a female raccoon]

Raccoon: Na na noo na (Hello handsome)

Jesse: Um, hi

Raccoon: :D Na na na noo noo (Huzzah, you are my new mate)

Jesse: (I sense something wrong here) Well, uh, I'll see you around I guess. Bye ***Run***

Raccoon: Noo noo no nay! (Come back my love!)

[Jesse runs back to the campsite, chased by Betsy]

|I named her Betsy, doesn't that have a ring to it? Jesse & Betsy. Well, anyway~ back to the plot|

Jesse: Run! I'm being chased!

Band: 0.0

[The Band, not know what was chasing Jesse, run with him..

towards the shiny statue Jennifer warned them about earlier :O ]

Jennifer: Wait, stop!

[The Band doesn't hear Jennifer so they keep running into the statue -

a portal opens & they all fall into it, leaving Jennifer & Betsy behind]

Derek: Oo, look at all the pretty colors

Joel: Nice going, Jesse. What were we even running from?

Jesse: A psycho!

Band: :O

Jesse: She was looking at me with crazy eyes 0.0

Derek: Wait, you were running from a girl?

Jesse: Yeah

Band: -_-

Jesse: What?

Band: …...

Jesse: Guys?

Band: …..

Jesse: -_- My bad

~*~End~*~


	16. Chapter 14:Cool in School

Jesse Chronicles: The Raccoon Saga

Chapter 14: Cool in High School

|This chapter is a parody of a few of my teachers, if you don't go to NHS you

won't get the references but I hope you'll enjoy it anyway|

[This scene opens with the Band, asleep at desks in a classroom]

-: WHY ARE PEOPLE SLEEPING IN MY CLASS??? WAKE UP, ALL OF YOU! ***ROAR***

Band: ***Wake up & scream***

Kathryn: Where are we?

-: You're in AP Language, SLEEPING LIKE LOVELY LITTLE CHILDREN

Band: 0.0

Joel: High school English?

-: Oh, just lovely, I got all the sleepy teenagers

Christian: Who are you?

-: I am the lovely, intelligent, amazing, wise, electric Mr. Christenseed!

Jesse: Wow

Mr. Christenseed: Wow what?

Jesse: What?

Mr. Christenseed: Finish your sentence ***Stare***

Jesse: Uh...

Mr. Christenseed: Lovely

Lilly: I'm scared....

Mr. Christenseed: You should be scared ***Stare*** Fear reality and my lovely tennis racket! ***Raise racket***

Derek: 0.0 You are violent

Mr. Christenseed: Force is the only thing teenagers understand apparently

Band: -_-

Mr. Christenseed: I DEMAND RESPLECT!

Kathryn: And I propose we get out of here

Band: Agreed

[So the Band runs out of Mr. Christenseed's room]

Joel: See what you got us into, Jesse?

Jesse: I'm sorry, I didn't really expect maniac teachers chasing us with tennis rackets

Kathryn: Either way, we have to hide

[The Band runs down the hallway of the school until they come to a door]

Lilly: How about here?

Derek: "Mrs. Galleless's Math class"

Christian: Is Math really safer than English?

Mr. Christenseed: ***ROAR***

Joel: Let's take a chance

[The Band slips into the Math class]

Kathryn: I think we're safe now

Derek: Yes we are, everyone knows English teachers melt when within 6 feet of a math problem

Jesse: Really?

Derek: Yes, it's logical physiologics

Joel: What?!

Mrs. Galleless: Nice of you all to show up

Jesse: We're sorr-

Mrs. Galleless: DON'T INTERRUPT ME ***ROAR***

Band: O.O

Jesse: But we ju-

Mrs. Galleless: WHAT DID I JUST SAY?? DO YOU REALLY THINK THIS HAS ANY THING TO DO WITH MATH??

Jesse: Well, no, bu-

Mrs. Galleless: STOP! INTERRUPTING IS RUDE

Band: o.o

Mrs. Galleless: NOW SIT DOWN AND PAY ATTENTION

Band: Yes ma'am

[The Band quickly seats themselves]

Mrs. Galleless: Ok class, today we will be doing something very advanced so pay close attention

Joel: Finally, something challenging

Mrs. Galleless: Ok, who wants to factor this for us? [X^2+2X+1]

Joel: ***Raise hand*** Me me me me me me me

Mrs. Galleless: Go ahead

Joel: (X+1)(X+1) :D

Christian: -_- Show off

Mrs. Galleless: NO! YOU CAN'T JUST SKIP STEPS LIKE THAT! YOU HAVE TO SHOW EVERYTHING!!

Joel: But it's 1x1

Mrs. Galleless: EVERYTHING!! ***ROAR***

Joel: Yeah, uh, let's get out of here too

Band: Let's

[So the Band once again runs out of the classroom and down the hall]

Lilly: This is getting ridiculous

Kathryn: Seriously

Joel: We need to find somewhere to hide without crazy teachers

Jesse: But where?

[The Band runs and runs in search of a sanctuary]

Lilly: ***Gasp*** I'm...so...tired..

Jesse: This hallway is empty, let's take a little break

[The Band settles against the wall for a little rest]

Derek: Oh yeah, we needed this

[A rumble is heard down the hall]

Christian: Oh no

[A security guard comes around the corner]

Joel: OMG! It's Peter Griffin!

|He already has a nickname, so I didn't change it|

Derek: Did you seriously just say "OMG"?

Peter: Why aren't you all in class? Where are your IDs?

Joel: Well, you see...

Derek: Run!

[And so the Band does, all the way outside]

Lilly: Did y'all ever notice that we run everywhere?

Derek: It's faster this way

Jesse: Look! A loading dock!

Kathryn: Sounds like a good place to rest

[The Band climbs up onto the loading dock]

Christian: I'm so tired

Kathryn: Me too

Joel: We need to figure out how to get out of here

Christian: We could do some drugs

Band: NO!

|Drugs are bad, kids (← see, my story has morals)|

Joel: Well how did we get here in the first place?

Lilly: Jesse made us run

Kathryn: Yeah, we were running then there was a flash of light

Derek: When we reached the unicorn statue

Band: :O THE UNICORN!

Jesse: If I've learned anything from sci-fi movies, and I have, the way to get back is to find the unicorn again

Kathryn: It has to be somewhere in the school

Christian: Where would a unicorn be here?

Joel: It's a mystery

Lilly: Does this mean we have to go back in?

Jesse: I think so

Joel: Well let's go then

[The Band reenters the school, all sneaky-like]

Derek: We gotta be sneaky~

[After about 3 hours of sneaking and searching the Band decides to rejoin in the

school's courtyard]

Lilly: Oooh, it's nice here

Kathryn: Yeah, look at all the nice flowers

Derek: And the cool unicorn statue

Joel: Fancy benches

Band: 0.0

[Once realized, the Band jumps onto the unicorn statue and a flash of light flashes

again and the Band again falls through a colorful portal]

Jesse: I knew those hours of TV would pay off

Kathryn: Well, when we get back to the forest we have to remember to stay away from the unicorn

Jesse: And female raccoons

Band: Agreed

~*~End~*~


	17. Chapter 15: DrDrama

Jesse Chronicles: The Raccoon Saga

Chapter 15: Dr. Drama

[The Band is falling through the portal, playing Would You Rather]

Christian: Ok, would you rather control a retarded Derek or a disabled Joel?

|He actually asked me this question, so there's a bit about Christian|

Lilly: Um~

Kathryn: What kind of question is that??

Jesse: Um, guys, are raccoons colorblind?

Derek: Shouldn't you know?

Jesse: Well I wasn't until now...

Kathryn: Now that you mention it....

[Everything around the Band begins turning black and white]

Joel: I feel odd...

[Another flash of light appears then everyone is in..

and old soap opera :O ]

* * *

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~Now back to our program.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

* * *

Christian: On this episode of Medical Tragedy our her-

Jesse: Christian?

Christian: You're not supposed to refer to the narrator

Jesse: What?

Christian: SHUT UP AND LET ME FINISH MY INTRO

Jesse: 0.0

Christian: Now, on this episode of Medical Tragedy our hero, Jesse, has just discovered his sister, Lilly, has fallen victim to an evil plot for his family's fortune......Now you can talk

Jesse: Wait, what? Hey, I'm human again :D

[Kathryn bursts into the room]

|Just to set this clear now, everyone is human in this chapter|

Kathryn: Jesse! What are you doing here?

Jesse: Uh

Kathryn: Checking up on Lilly I see

[Lilly is in a coma on the nearby bed]

Jesse: Sure

Kathryn: It's a shame isn't it? Poor Lilly, if she dies she'll never inherit Papa's billions

Jesse: That sounds right....But she's not dead

Kathryn: Yet

Jesse: Yet?

[Joel (As a doctor) enters the room]

Joel: Yet.

Jesse: 0.0

Joel: My professional opinion is that she will be dead within today

Jesse: Oh no!

Kathryn: ….

Joel: Don't worry, Jesse and Kathryn, your sister will go peacefully

Kathryn: Well that is a bright side, isn't it Jesse

Jesse: What's wrong with her?

Joel: Well, she wasn't poisoned

Kathryn: Definitely not poisoned

Jesse: 0.o

Christian: Will Joel & Kathryn get away with their evil plan? Will Jesse figure it out in time? All this and more after these messages from our sponsors

Jesse: Wai-

+Commercial+

Derek: Hey folks! Come on down to Mrs. Pobble's bakery, she's got the top-notch, chippy-chip, best darn buns in the dag-nab country. And I'm talking about the one's on her store shelves not the ones under her skirt for you dirty-birdies. Come on down today~!

+Back to the Show+

Christian: The drama ensues

Jesse: Wait, y'all did this to Lilly?

[Kathryn & Joel pull out guns]

Joel: So you got it all figured out, do you?

Jesse: Um, sure, but let's see if you know your plot

Kathryn: Why wouldn't we know our own plot?

Jesse: You might not even have a plot

Joel: Oh, we have a plot

Jesse: Then what is it?

Joel: Me & Kathryn here poisoned your sister so we can then kill you and Kathryn can inherit all the money then we can split it 50/50 and buy camels

Jesse: Camels?

Joel: Yes, soon camels will be more valuable than alpacas

Jesse: Really?

Kathryn: Really

Joel: And since you've figured out our plan, we're going to kill you now. Kathryn, go down stairs and make some cover noise

Kathryn: Fine

[Kathryn exits and Joel loads his gun]

Christian: Is this the end for Jesse?

Jesse: 0.0

Joel: Prepare to die

[Indi (as a nurse) enters]

Indi: Doctor, I have a complaint

Joel: -_- You always have a complaint

Indi: Uh! That was so rude, I am so getting the union to do something about that, just because you're my boss doesn't give you the right to be mean to me :P

Joel: Oh my gosh, will you just tell me what you want, I'm busy

Indi: Oh, YOU'RE busy? Do you even KNOW what busy is? I AM busy. I have to get here everyday before noon and file papers and bring you stuff and talk to sick people. I hardly have any time to myself! I have Johnny Depp tied up in my closet at home and I have had NO time to ask him questions or take fun pictures with him :( because I'm stuck here working for you! And I never even get a "thank you"

Joel: Oh ***Rubs his head***

Indi: I never get a simple "thank you" and I so don't get paid enough, I need a raise. Do you realize how expensive it is to make everything in your house purple? Oh, wait a sec ***Text*** Awww, my friend just sent me this totally cute picture, it's a little panda – I absolutely LOVE pandas, don't you think they cute?

Joel: Yeah, yeah, they're adorable

Indi: :D I know, right – Why was I in here again? I don't remember, hold on ***Text*** Well, while I'm here I have a complaint.

Joel: Oh, really? What could possibly be bothering you?

Indi: There's some chick next door who keeps ignoring me, she always pretends to be asleep when I go in to check on her, why would some do something like that?

Joel: I don't know. I have no idea why someone wouldn't want to see you

Indi: Exactly! ***Text*** Ugh, I have to go back to work, work is so~ boring though

Joel: You know what?

Indi: ***Text* **What?

Joel: You can go on home

Indi: ***Gasp*** Really?!?

Joel: Yeah, really

Indi: OMG, this is so totally awesome, I have to go home and tell Johnny all about this

Joel: You do that

Jesse: … o.o

Joel: Now where were we? ***Point gun***

Jesse: We were going to go outside and play tag

Joel: Oh, that sounds like fun :D

Jesse: Well let's go!

Joel: Ye-No, it's time for you to die

Jesse: Well don't I get a last wish or something?

Joel: Usually, but not today

Jesse: But but but ;_;

Joel: Ugh, fine, What do you want?

Jesse: I want~

Joel: Well?

Jesse: I want a shiny unicorn statue!

Joel: A statue? 0.o

Jesse: Yes

Joel: Ugh, hold on

[Joel walks over to the intercom thing on the wall]

Joel: -_- Fatima, bring me a unicorn statue

Fatima (Nurse): What??

Jesse: Shiny

Joel: And make sure it's a shiny unicorn

Fatima: Um, ok

Joel: Thank you

[So Joel & Jesse wait until Fatima brings up the unicorn statue]

Fatima: Happy?

Jesse: Yes

Joel: Yes, thank you Fatima, you can go now

Fatima: Ok, bye bye

[Fatima exits and Joel loads his gun again]

Joel: Now it's time for you to die

Jesse: ;_; Don't I get to see the unicorn first

Joel: You can see it, it's right there

Jesse: ***Sniffle***

Joel: Ugh, fine, go.

Jesse: Yay!

[Jesse walks over and pets the unicorn. A flash of light appears and everyone is again

in the portal]

Jesse: That was weird

Kathryn: :D Jesse's back!

Jesse: 0.o What?

Joel: You disappeared for a while there?

Jesse: Really?

Derek: Yeah, then you came back

Jesse: Wow, so I went alone then

Kathryn: Really?

Jesse: Apparently, it was so weird

Christian: Guys, Lilly's still asleep

Jesse: Asleep?

Kathryn: She just fell asleep a bit after you left

Jesse: 0.0

~*~End~*~


	18. Chapter 16: Elsewhere II

Jesse Chronicles: The Raccoon Saga

Chapter 16: Elsewhere II

|Ok, time to take another little break and look in on our other characters again|

*^*Lysci*^*

[Lysci is sitting on her throne, awaiting the return of her minion]

Lysci: ….....Where is she?.. -_-

[Just then, Luz flies into the window]

Luz: Ow! ***Rub Head***

Lysci: It's called "look where you're going"

Luz: ;_; You're so mean, after I went through all the trouble to get this ***Hold Up Scepter***

Lysci: :O Gimme gimme gimme

Luz: -_- Open the dag-nab window

Lysci: You work for me, Why should I do something for you?

Luz: Gah!

[Luz flies down and uses the front door]

Lysci: That was an interesting solution

Luz: Yeah yeah yeah

Lysci: Now gimme gimme gimme

[Luz gives Lysci the scepter, full of happiness Lysci pushes a button on the wall

which releases confetti & balloons from the ceiling]

Luz: Wow, you were waiting a while

Lysci: A scepter is exciting :D

Luz: This does seem a bit too bright for you though

Lysci: There are hearts of my enemies in the balloons

Luz: Now that's more like you

Lysci: Yes. Now to business

Luz: I'm getting a raise?

Lysci: No

Luz: Dang :(

Lysci: I only have 2 scepters....

Luz: I'll get you the rest, no worries

Lysci: Oh, really?

Luz: Yeah

Lysci: Do you not realize how long it took you to get one?

Luz: Um....

Lysci: I'm sending help with you for now on

Luz: WHAT?!? I WORK ALONE :P

Lysci: Not anymore

Luz: :( But but but

Lysci: Quiet!

Luz: o.o

Lysci: ***Clap Clap***

[The doors the the throne room open, a large wolf and a flea enter]

Luz: Seriously?

Lysci: This is Dan and Kyle, they'll be accompanying you and helping get the scepters faster

Luz: -_- Fine, let's go

[Luz, Kyle, & Dan all leave Lysci's fortress and set off to again find the Band

and the remaining scepters]

Lysci: Those two better improve things, I'm getting tired of employees

*^*Indi*^*

[Indi is riding her duck, Gustav, through a meadow]

Gustav: Quack!

Indi: Exactly

[Indi is in search of the magical fuchsia panda]

Gustav: Quack quack!

Indi: I wonder where it could be....Oh! I know!

[Indi pulls a bottle full of glitter from her pocket, she then flings a large amount of

it out into the air – because everyone knows fuchsia pandas love glitter]

Indi: ….........

Gustav: Quack?

Indi: Where is it?? I threw glitter it should be here :(

|It's been about a minute|

Indi: WHY WON'T THE PANDA COME ALREADY! UGH, IT'S TAKING FOREVER!

Gustav: Quack

[The pandas is sitting in the grass, staring in confusion at Indi]

Indi: :D Yay!!

Panda: 0.0

Indi: You are mine now! I'm going to take you home and love you!

[She picks up the panda and takes it home]

Indi: You're going to like it at my place. Me, Gustav, Johnny, and now you!

Panda: …... (Darn my irresistible attraction to glitter)

*^*Fatima*^*

[Fatima is baking a cake]

Fatima: Ah, this is going to be yummy :9

[And it was]

~*~End~*~

|I know, Fatima only got one line, I'll think of something longer for the next 'Elsewhere chapter'|


	19. Chapter 17: Bebe Bit me

Jesse Chronicles: The Raccoon Saga

Chapter 17: Bebe bit me

|Return to our main story and the Band|

[The Band is still falling through the portal, trying to wake up Lilly]

Kathryn: Lilly~ Wake up~

Derek: Get your lazy butt up, Lilly!

Jesse: Oh no, Lilly really is dead :(

Band: What??!!??!?

Jesse: When I left the portal she was in a coma.....dieing

Christian: That's stupid, why would Lilly go into a coma?

Jesse: Because Kathryn & Joel poisoned her

Joel & Kathryn: What?!??!?!!

Kathryn: Jesse, I'm only going to ask you once

Jesse: Ok

Kathryn: Are you on drugs?

Jesse: What??

Kathryn: Who gave them to you??

Jesse: I'm not on drugs!

Kathryn: Good, because drugs are bad

Joel: Very bad

Jesse: Exactly

Christian: So what are we going to do about Lilly then?

Derek: We could harvest her organs and sell them on eBay for a nice profit

Band: 0.0

Derek: Hey, it's an idea

Kathryn: Let's put that in the NO pile

Derek: Fine

Jesse: Did you try poking her?

Joel: ***Poke Lilly*** Not working

Christian: Let me see, maybe I can find something

[Christian floats over to Lilly]

Christian: Well here's the problem. Lilly's molting

Band: Molting??

Christian: Yeah, reptiles do that

Kathryn: Oh, that makes sense

Joel: But why won't she wake up?

Christian: How should I know?

[Everyone gathers around Lilly.

While observing Joel sneezes on Lilly]

Joel: A-chooie!

Lilly: EEEEEEEEEWWWWWW

Kathryn: :D Lilly's ok!

Lilly: No I'm not, I just got sneezed on :(

Joel: Don't I get a "Bless you"?

Lilly: Ew ew ew ew ew

[Just as Lilly is in the middle of her fit a light flashes and the Band wakes up

in a rain forest]

Lilly: Now there's mud everywhere :(

Jesse: Wow, we're in a rainforest

Kathryn: Cool

Derek: Look! A Bird!

[Up in a nearby tree, a colorful bird is sitting on a branch]

Bird: Bebe

Joel: Bebe?

Bird: Bebe

Jesse: Maybe that's it's name?

Bird: Bebe

Lilly: Or just all it knows to say

Bird: Bebe

Christian: I say we eat it :9

Bird: 0.0

Joel: I think it heard you

Bird: ***Glare***

Kathryn: Don't worry.. uh.. Bebe. We're not going to hurt you

Bird: Be..be..

Jesse: Maybe you should apologize, Christian

Christian: Why? I'm hungry & look how fat it is

Bird: 0.0 BEBE?

Lilly: I think you upset it more

Bird: BBBBEEEEBBBBEEEE!!

Kathryn: Uh oh

Joel: How about we run away?

Derek: Sounds good.

[So the Band runs away from the bird, who has swooped down from the tree in pursuit]

Lilly: See what you did, Christian?

Christian: Well sorry I was hungry

[The Band runs and runs]

Lilly: Ugh, I'm tired

Derek: Me too, can't we just fight this thing?

[The bird swoops down and bites Christian's hand]

Christian: 0.0 OOOWWW! LET GO OF ME YOU STUPID BIRD!

Bird: (muffled) BEBE!

Joel: You did kind of deserve that

Christian: Shut up and get it off of me!

Lilly: Bebe!

Bird: Bebe?

Lilly: Uh.. Bebe

[The bird let's go of christian and lands on Lilly's back]

Jesse: Wow Lilly, I didn't know you spoke bird

Lilly: Neither did I

Bird: Bebe

Lilly: Bebe? (This is so weird)

Kathryn: Looks like you have a new friend

[The bird flies away into the forest]

Bird: Bebe!

Christian: I still say we should have eaten it

Joel: Let's follow it

[And so the Band does. They enter the forest and follow the constant "Bebe!"s

they hear]

Kathryn: Wow! It led us to a waterfall

Lilly: Oooo, it's so pretty

Jesse: So peaceful too

Derek: Look! In the lake

[Bebe is standing on a statue in the middle of the lake

a statue of a shiny unicorn!]

Band: :D

Lilly: Bebe!

Kathryn: Why did it lead us here though

Derek: To show us the way to the statue

Joel: But how did it know we were looking for it?

Bird: Bebe!

Jesse: Maybe it thought Lilly was a unicorn?

Lilly: 0.o ??

Christian: Oh well, let's just go touch it

Lilly: Is this water clean?

Joel: That doesn't matter

Lilly: Yes it does

Kathryn: We're not going to drink it, just walk through it a bit

Lilly: -_- Fine

[The Band wades into the lake and over to the statue]

Lilly: Thank you Bebe

Bird: (In a very low voice) You're welcome Princess ***Fly Away***

Band: o.0 ??

Joel: Something you want to tell us, Lilly?

Lilly: Uh... I don't think so

Derek: That's weird

Jesse: Yeah, maybe we should get out of here before something else weird happens

[The Band continues on the short distance left between them and the statue]

Kathryn: Soon we'll be back in our portal

[The Band reaches out to touch the statue

But it disappears before they reach it :O ]

Jesse: What the fruit??

Christian: Watch your mouth!

Jesse: Sorry

Kathryn: Where did it go?

Lilly: It just vanished

[A hole opens up where the statue was and all the water follows like a drain

and the Band falls with it]

Derek: Oh noes!!

Band: :O

~*~End~*~


	20. Extra Chapter: Points

Jesse Chronicles: The Raccoon Saga

From the Author

Hi peoples, Kine Avai here :D

I just wanted to take some time to say a few things and if you're all good and read them then you'll get to see the end of the interview too – the exciting conclusion

Okie Dokie, I'm just going to make some points:

-I'm half blind, I make typos, deal with them – I always mean to go back & fix them but I forget so deal :P

-I write when I can, I do have other stuff to do -_- So be patient for chapters and stop asking when the next is coming out ***roar***

-I know the chapters are off in the email alerts, deal & stop complaining (Joel :P)

-If anything I've written is copyrighted somehow, I tried not too, I'm sorry, don't sue please ;_;

-I made a website .com/site/kineava/

Um, that's all I can think of right now, so enjoy the rest of the interview

~Kine~

Kine: Ok, everyone, welcome back from lunch. Did you all enjoy your meals?

Lysci: I did

Fatima: Mhmm

Jesse: They were good

Derek: Yummy in my tummy

Joel: Delicious

Indi:Very yum

Lilly: I'm so full~

Kine: Good, so let's continue with the questions

Everyone: Ok!

Kine: Alright, so first things first; have any of you had fruitcake?

Everyone: o.0 No

Kine: Interesting, ok. So, while at lunch I realized you all look very familiar, were yall in movies or something?

Lysci: Maybe

Derek & Fatima: Why yes. Yes I am.

Derek: I was that one guy you couldn't see. :)

Kine: Wow, interesting. Well now I'm going to finish this with individual questioning.

Joel: Ok

Indi: I want to be first! Me me me me me!

Kine: Ok ok, gosh, chill. Indi will go first

Indi: Yay! :D

Kine: So, what do you think of everyone else?

Indi: I would talk about Joel but I'll be nice

Kine: Ok.

Indi: Because I'm a nice person :)

Kine: I'm sure you are. Do you like being a fairy?

Indi: Heck yes!

Kine: That's good

Indi: :)

Kine: Did you have to go to school for that?

Indi: Nah, but I am really smart, I read books all the time

Kine: Good

|Read kids, it's good for you|

Kine: And what do you want to be when you grow up?

Indi: :D I want to be a secret agent and an overly dramatic director

Kine: Nice combo

Indi: I know, right?

Kine: Anything interesting you'd like to share about yourself before you go?

Indi: Um~, I have a magic duck I ride on, his name is Gustav

Kine: Oh yeah, we saw him in Elsewhere II

Indi: Yup!

Kine: Thank you for answering the questions, Indi. You can go now

Indi: Aw, that's all?

Kine: Well I still have to interview everyone else

Indi: ***Roll Eyes*** Fine, I'm going to go home and play Uno with Johnny

Kine: Take him out of the closet

Indi: But he likes it in there, it's all cozy and he never complains about it anyway

Kine: …..Ok

Indi: Ok, bye

[Indi leaves]

Kine: Alright, next is

Lysci: Me

Kine: Ok

Derek: Hey! Why does she get to go already?

Joel: Dude, the sooner she goes the sooner she leaves

Lysci: :P

Kine: Have we come to a conclusion

Lysci: It's my turn

Kine: Ok, so, Lysci, what do you think of everyone?

Lysci: I think some need to work on their intelligence -.- none can prevail.

Kine: Ok, a little mean but ok

Lysci: :)

Kine: So, you're an overlord

Lysci: Yes, I am

Kine: How do you like that?

Lysci: I like it muy much, because it is very well suited for me, and i can do everything perfectly.

Kine: Did that require any training?

Lysci: I'm a PH.D

Kine: Very nice

Lysci: Thank you

Kine: Alright, you're wish is to rule the world.

Lysci: Yes

Kine: Why?

Lysci: I want to rule

Kine: Simple. Good luck with it

Lysci: Now I'm going to go make some proclamations

Kine: You do that

Lysci: I will

Kine: Ok, bye

Lysci: Farewell. But first; Jesse?

Jesse: Hm?

Lysci: ***Glare***

Jesse: 0.0

Kine: Hey hey hey, don't be mean

Lysci: Fine -_-

[Lysci leaves]

Kine: Who wants to go next?

Derek: :O Me me me! I want to!

Kine: Ok, Derek

Derek: :D

Kine: What do you think of everyone?

Derek: Everyone is good

Kine: Ok. So, the readers are probably wondering: what are you exactly?

Derek: I'm a wizard

Kine: Nice

Derek: Yeah

Kine: Did you attend wizard school?

Derek: I did, but I dropped out

Kine: :O

|Stay in school kids|

Derek: It was too easy

Kine: Interesting, so you're smart?

Derek: Obviously

Kine: And that's why you chose your wish?

Derek: Yes, I wanna be the very best that no one every was. I'll travel across the land, searching far and wide. That's when I'll unleash my power that's inside.

Kine: That's a very good goal

Derek: Thank you

Kine: Alright, bye Derek

Derek: Fine, bye

[Derek leaves]

Kine: Fatima, how about you go next

Fatima: Sure

Kine: Alright

Fatima: :)

Kine: What do you think of everyone?

Fatima: They're awesome :D

Kine: Aw, that's so nice

Fatima: :)

Kine: So how do you like being a....um..

Fatima: Mystical guide

Kine: I knew that

Fatima: Sure

Kine: How are you enjoying that?

Fatima: It's fun :D

Kine: You seem really happy

Fatima: Well I tend to change moods a lot, but I try to look on the positive side of things.

Kine: That is a very good way to be, very nice

Fatima: :D

Kine: Well your segment is over now

Fatima: That's ok, I'm going to go home and clean

Kine: Have fun

Fatima: I will :)

[Fatima leaves]

Kine: Next~

Joel: I want to go, I have things to do

Kine: Um, ok

Joel: The people are cool, it's awesome being what I am, & yeah, I went to school. Bye

[Joel leaves]

Kine: …..Ok....Um... Lilly, it's your turn

Lilly: Ok :)

Kine: What do you think of everybody?

Lilly: I think Derek's crazy o.o

Kine: Understandable. So, do you like being a...whatever you are technically

Lilly: Of course I like the crazy mutant I am. :)

Kine: That's good

Lilly: But I would want to be like a bard :o or or or make up the Band's own language and become a scribe :o

Kine: That would be interesting

Lilly: Yeah :)

Kine: Thank you, Lilly

Lilly: You're welcome

Kine: Bye

Lilly: Bye

[Lilly leaves]

Kine: Alright, we end with our main character, Jesse

Jesse: :D Woo, finally my turn

Kine: What do you think of everyone?

Jesse: Well, the others seem kind of weird except Joel, and Lilly, but when drunk they're even weirder. But they are good friends though.

Kine: Alrighty

Jesse: :)

Kine: So, you're a raccoon

Jesse: Yes, I'm also part ninja

Kine: :O We're you trained by a master?

Jesse: Yes, in the art of ninjarey, and in basic calculus.

Kine: Harvard will defiantly like that. But how is being a raccoon?

Jesse: Well, it's alright now that I can at least fight on my own.

Kine: Ok. Last question; how do you like the series being named after you?

Jesse: I feel very honored

Kine: Alright, thank you, Jesse

Jesse: You're welcome

[Jesse leaves]

|Alrighty, I hope you enjoyed it and learned a bit more about the characters. I'll be doing another for the other characters|

~Kine~


	21. Chapter 18: All Powerful

Jesse Chronicles: The Raccoon Saga

Chapter 18: The All Powerful Lilly

[When we last left on, the Band was falling through the hole in the lake bottom,

so we'll now continue from that point]

Derek: Oh noes! We're falling!

Lilly: We're going to be soaking wet later -_-

Christian: At least it'll wash all the sneeze off

Lilly: Good point

[So the Band falls and falls and falls until they all land on a floor]

Band: Oof!

Joel: Ow~

Kathryn: Well that was interesting

Derek: More like painful

Jesse: Anyone see where the unicorn went?

Band: ***Look Around***

Christian: Over there!

[The unicorn was now standing on on a large dirt hill, extra shiny with the

sunlight coming down through the hole and making it glimmer]

Lilly: Pretty~

Derek: I think Bebe set us up :(

Joel: Or maybe it was just an accident, we do weigh a lot combined so we probably just collapsed this ceiling

Christian: Calling us fat?

Joel: No, just heavy

Derek: It was probably Joel's fault

Kathryn: Stop arguing, all we have to do is run up the and touch it

Jesse: Yeah!

[The Band gets up and starts climbing the hill]

Derek: Climb climb climb

Lilly: Why~? I'm so tired~

Christian: Suck it up, Lilly

Lilly: ;_;

[And so they keep climbing and climbing until they almost reach the unicorn]

Derek: We're almost there!

Kathryn: So close

[Just as the Band is reaching for the statue, a wave of arrows flies down from out

of nowhere]

Joel: Get back to the choppa!!

Lilly: Don't you mean chopper?

Derek: Either way we don't have one! We have to get out of here!

Jesse: But the statue!

Kathryn: We'll come back, but for now we just need to run!

[And so the Band retreats to a crevice in the nearby cave wall]

Christian: What's happening?

Derek: I still think this is Bebe's fault

Lilly: ;_; Why must you always blame someone?

Joel: Well if you think about it, Bebe setting us up does make sense

Kathryn: Well now we need to think of a plan

Jesse: Wait! Listen

Band: 0.o

[Clippity-clops can be heard further down in the cavern]

Christian: That's just Lilly

Lilly: No it's not

Derek: Well who else has hooves to go clippity-clop with?

Joel: It's an enigma (← I used a vocabulary word :D )

Kathryn: Well whoever it is has hooves and can shoot arrows

Christian: So it's Lilly's fault!

Lilly: WHAT?!?!

Jesse: No

-: I heard a scream in this direction

Joel: Nice going, Lilly

Lilly: ;_;

-: Quickly, search the crevasses

Derek: Great, we're going to die now

[The band cowers in their little hide-away until they are discovered by

a small troop of centaurs]

Derek: :O First more Kathryns, now more Lillies

Lilly: 0.0

Lead Centaur: Come out of there and release our princess!

Band: What?!?!

Lead Centaur: Come out and release her

Kathryn: What is he talking about?

Jesse: Thinks this has anything to do with what Bebe said?

)Flashback(

Bebe: You're welcome princess

)End Flashback(

Band: 0.0 Lilly's a princess?!?!

Lilly: O.O

[Just then a bunch of centaurs come over and pull the Band out of their

place in the wall]

Band: D:

[The centaurs place Lilly on a large pillow then tie up the rest of the Band]

Lilly: Guys!

Kathryn: Don't worry, Lilly! We'll save you

Christian: Or not!

Lilly: ;_;

Kathryn: Don't listen to him! We will!

Lilly: Ok!

[And the Band is separated, not knowing where they're being led]

-Band-

Derek: Where are we going?

Centaur: You are being transported to the dungeon for princess-napping

Joel: What?!?

Jesse: Would you all like to explain the charge?

Centaur: You stole the princess and now you will die

Band: 0.0

[The Band is then thrown into the dungeon]

Jesse: Don't we get some kind of trial or something?

Centaur: No

Jesse: ;_;

Kathryn: We have to find Lilly, and quick

Derek: Yeah, then we need to get to the unicorn before we...

Christian: Die horrible deaths?

Derek: Yeah

Joel: So our mission is set

Kathryn: but first we need to get out of here

-Lilly-

[Lilly is gently led to a great chamber, filled with pretty fountains and mounds

of yummy foods]

Lilly: Wow

Nearby Centaur: Is it to your liking, Princess?

Lilly: Um, yes?

[A large, handsome centaur walks up to Lilly]

Handsome Centaur: I am Thor, welcome home Princess

Lilly: What?

Random Centaur: She must have amnesia!

Another Random Centaur: No! Those criminals must have brainwashed her!

Lilly: What are you all talking about?

2nd Centaur: Ok, maybe she has amnesia

1st Centaur: Told you

Lilly: Um...

Thor: Worry not, Princess, it will all be ok

Lilly: ...Ok....

Another large Centaur: Soon, the king will return.

Lilly: King?

Large Centaur: Hm, we should do something about your memory before the wedding

Lilly: Wedding?!? 0.0

[Dun dun dun]

~*~End~*~


	22. Chapter 19: Another Place

Jesse Chronicles: The Raccoon Saga

Chapter 19: In Another Place

|Ok, I'm not continuing the other part for a while to build suspense :)

In the mean time, I'm going to move the plot to the side story of me, Dan, & Kyle|

[Luz, Dan, & Kyle (hereby known as the Squad) have set off to once again find the

Band. Luz pulls them all aside]

Luz: Ok, ok, before we get going we need some ground rules

Dan: Ground rules?

Luz: Yes. Number 1: I'm in charge

Kyle: You?

Luz: Yes, me :P

Dan: Why you?

Luz: Because I was here first

Dan: But Lysci called us to back you up, doesn't that make you incompetent?

Luz: Rule number 2: No using big words & number 3: Don't question my authority

Dan: :P Whatever

Luz: Shoosh

Kyle: Don't make her angry~

Luz: ***Glare*** Lets get going

Kyle: Where are we going?

Luz: Parkyo

Dan: But the Band's probably already there

Luz: No worries, I have connections ***Wink wink***

Kyle: What kind of connections?

Luz: You'll have to wait and see

Dan: So what's the plan?

Luz: Kyle and I will fly ahead to the empire, you will go directly to the forest

Dan: The forest?!? People disappear in there, I know you don't want me along but geez

Luz: I'm sure you can manage yourself, just stay away from the shiny

Dan: The shiny?

Luz: You'll get what I mean when you get there

Dan: Fine. What do I do if I encounter the Band?

Luz: Army mode

Dan: Um, ok

Kyle: And where are we going?

Luz: We're flying ahead to the empire to meet up with an old friend of mine

Kyle: Sounds like a plan

[Kyle jumps up onto Luz's wing who then lifts off into a speedy flight]

Luz: See you there!

Dan: Alright!

[Then they all go their separate ways to put their plan into motion]

~*~End~*~


	23. Chapter 20: Princess and Bird

Jesse Chronicles: The Raccoon Saga

Chapter 20: The Princess and the Bird

[Lilly is sitting in a large throne room, munching on green grapes]

Lilly: Mmm~ These are so good :9

Servant Centaur: I'm glad you like them, Princess

Lilly: (I could get used to this)

[Trumpets sound from the doors of the room]

-: Announcing the return of the honorable King Jojo and the good Knight John

Thor: Welcome home, your majesty

Jojo: Thank you, Thor, now let me see my daughter

[Thor goes leads the two back to Lilly]

Jojo: Ah, my dear daughter, Bebe, I was so worried ***Hugs Lilly***

Lilly: |Squished| What?

Jojo: :O What has happened to my dear Bebe??

Thor: We believe she has amnesia, your highness

Jojo: My poor girl

Lilly: (Um...)

John: Well why haven't you fixed her?

Thor: We wanted to wait and give her a chance to relax first

Jojo: Exactly

Lilly: Um, I'm confused

Jojo: My poor Bebe! ***Squishes Lilly again***

Lilly: ***Gasp***

John: What about our wedding?

Lilly: 'Our'?

John: O.O My love has forgotten me?!?

Lilly: 'Love'?!?

Thor: I think the Princess needs to retire to her quarters for a bit

John: No, she needs to be cured!

Jojo: John John John, calm down. You will marry my daughter just as planned. Right, Thor?

Thor: Yes sir. Come, Princess, we'll see the sharat now

Lilly: Wait! First, what happened to my friends?

Thor: Friends?!?

John: Those vile creatures who stole you from me?!?

Lilly: 0.0 I was just wondering

John: Get her to the sharat!

Jojo: Daughter..

Lilly: Uh..Yes?

Jojo: You know exactly what happens to those who threaten you

Lilly: 0.o

Thor: Come, Princess

[Thor leads Lilly to a dark room back in the cavern where a giant

ferret is scurrying around chanting]

Thor: Kuku!

Kuku: Yes?

Thor: I have brought the princess

Kuku: Ah, you've finally come

Lilly: Um, may I ask what's going on?

Kuku: She really does have amnesia

Thor: Can you cure her?

[The ferret scurries over to Lilly & stares into her eyes]

Lilly: 0.0 I'm uncomfortable

Thor: Step away

Kuku: BA!!!!

Lilly: ***Scream***

Kuku: What is your name?

Lilly: Bebe?

Kuku: There you go

Thor: Very good

Lilly: What just happened?

Thor: Worry not, Princess, you have been through an ordeal but now you can be married

Lilly: 0.0

Thor: Thank you, Kuku

Kuku: You owe me a baby

Thor: Of course

Lilly: (What?!?)

[Thor then leads Lilly back to the palace where she is handed off

to a pack of ladies in waiting who surround her and dress her as a

beautiful bride]

Lilly: HOW DID ALL THIS HAPPEN IN JUST 20 MINUTES?!?!??

Maid: Ah, so young. A full, fast life ahead

Lilly: o.o

Thor: You look lovely, Princess

Lilly: ...Thank you?

Thor: Come along, it is time

Lilly: ***Gulp***

[Lilly – dazed & confused – is led back to the throne room

which has been ornately decorated and all the centaurs of the land

have been gathered]

Lilly: 0.0 Wow

Thor: To your liking?

Lilly: Yeah actually (I can be a princess)

[Lilly is lead up the isle to John]

Lilly: Um, hi?

John: Hello ;)

Lilly: o.o

Jojo: Where is Kufoo?

Thor: I will get him, I'd suggest the execution in the meantime

Lilly: Execution?!?

John: We're killing your kidnappers

Lilly: What?!?

[The Band is led in]

Kathryn: Lilly!

Lilly: Kathryn!

Jesse: Save us!

Lilly: :O

John: Lilly?

Lilly: Um

John: Doesn't matter. Somebody kill the kidnappers please

Band: 0.0

Lilly: No! You can't!

John: You really insist on defending these fiends?!?

Lilly: Yes

Jojo: ***Sigh*** My daughter always did have a soft heart. Release the criminals!

Band: Yay!

Jojo: Now leave and never return!

Derek: But Lilly

Jojo: Leave!

-: Oh, let them remain to see their friend get married

[The bird formally thought to be named Bebe flies in]

Jojo: Kufoo?

Kufoo: Princess, these really are your friends, aren't they?

Lilly: Yes

Jojo: Very well, they may stay

John: Now, can we please get on with our wedding

Kufoo: Of course

Christian: But you can't get married!

John: You be quiet!

Lilly: Yeah, be quiet

Band: 0.0

Jesse: Lilly?

Lilly: I'm not part of the Band anymore, I'm a princess and I'm getting married

Band: O.O

Joel: But

Lilly: No! I don't need my bubble and y'all are always so mean to me anyway

Band: :(

John: Right, let's get going

Kufoo: Bring in the unicorn

[The shiny unicorn if brought in in a very parade-like fashion]

Band: :O

Lilly: o.o

Kufoo: Now then, let's get this ceremony going

Lilly: (Wow, I'm really going through with this)

Christian: This can't happen!

John: Quiet, you!

Kathryn: Lilly, he's right. You're lying to these people

Jojo: What?

Lilly: Shoosh!

Jojo: How dare you say this is not my dear daughter?

Joel: Do only royal centaurs have scales?

Jojo, John, Thor, & Kufoo: WHAT?!?

Lilly: :D My scales are coming back! …..Oh, wait...Um...

Jojo: WHERE IS MY DAUGHTER?!?

Lilly: o.o Uh..

[Everyone starts closing in ok Lilly who, while trying to back

away, stumbles onto the unicorn statue – Then she and the Band

are back in the portal]

Lilly: Wow, that was an interesting trip

Jesse: How could you do that?!?

Derek: You were really going to just get married and leave us behind?!?

Lilly: Well....

Kathryn: All the matters is that Lilly is back

Lilly: :D

Everyone else: ***Glare***

Lilly: ;_; I'm sorry

~*~End~*~


	24. Chapter 20,5: Indi's SubChap

Hey ya'll! Indi here! This is my chapter so I hope you enjoy!

**Derek's lying face down in the sand at La Playa Beach after falling through Indi's portal**

Indi: Woooooo~ **waving arms in a way she thinks looks mystical**

Derek: **snore**

Indi: -.- I _said_ Wooooo!!!!!~ **waving arms with more vigor**

Derek: **snore**

Indi: -.- **tapping her foot, Indi grabs a coconut and throws it at Derek **WAKE UP DEREK!!!!!!!!!!!!

Derek: *jumping up* WTF man?!?! That hurt!!

[Note: the F in WTF stands for freak just FYI]

Indi: :D Yay!

Derek: *rubbing his head* Who are you??? D:

Indi: -.- Really Derek? I have wings. And I sparkle. I'm sure you can figure it out.

Derek: Sara Palin!

Indi: T_T I'm the fairy, Indi!

Derek: Oooooh that makes more sense....

Indi: Ya think? Anywayz I brought you here to try to help you find the scepters!

Derek: Where exactly is here?

Indi: La Playa Beach

Derek: Where is that?

Indi: Where is what?

Derek: La Playa Beach

Indi: Right here

Derek: Never mind -.- Do you have any rum?

Indi: Focus Derek! I can't stay long!

Derek: Why? Does it take too much of your fairy energy?

Indi: No. House is on in like 10 minutes and I can't miss this week's episode because House finally gets out of rehab and moves in with Wilson and then Chase is supposed to tell Cameron something who isn't supposed to tell Foreman because it's about his girlfriend, Thirteen, but Foreman finds out anywayz cuz he's just a nosy fat head like that and then he tells Cutty and then House figures it out from talking to Wilson who Cutty told and Wilson can't ever keep a secret from House, especially cuz they're living together, and then House gets mad at Cameron for not telling him when Chase first told her and Chase is mad at Cameron for letting everyone fine out the secret which is ruining their marriage and Cutty has a baby! :D **takes a really deep breath**

Derek: -.- You have time to tell me all that, but you can't find me any rum?

Indi: Exactly :D So back to the point, ya'll need to hurry up and find those scepters cuz Lysci has half of them! D:

Derek: We know! You brought me here just to tell me stuff we already know?

Indi:Not answering that. Why haven't you found any yet???

Derek: Well we've...I've....been having....problems...

Indi: What sort of problems?

Derek: I'm pregnant! O_o

Indi: . Derek no more fooling around. What's the real problem?

Derek: We don't know where the scepters are!

Indi: That's kinda the point. You have to use your cunning and slyness to find them!

Derek: Hey! Those are the same thing! And I don't have either!

Indi: Oh I know you don't. But thank goodness there are others in the band who are cunning and sly :D

Derek: Fine -.- Is there any other totally useless information you want to tell me?

Indi: Sure! :D Omg did you hear that Person Magazine voted Johnnie Deep sexiest man of the year?? ^.^

Derek: Well he is extraordinarily delicious

Indi: O_o ...wow...um....I'm not quite sure how to respond to that...

Derek: Wait did I actually say that out loud? T_T

Indi: Yeah...Well Derek I have nothing else to tell you. But I do have one thing to give you just in case you or anyone else in the band ever needs it.

Derek: Oh oh oh oh oh let me guess!

Indi: Fine -.-

Derek: Some lighter fluid, a blow torch, and 500,000 tooth picks!

Indi: -.- How 'bout I just tell you?

Derek: But that's not fun!

Indi: No but it's less taxing on my nerves.

Derek: Ok fine. What is this magical gift you speak of?

Indi: A jar of glitter!! :D

Derek: Well what's in it?

Indi: _GLITTER_ DEREK!!!!!

Derek: Oh....Well what's so special about it?

Indi: Well since I have amazingly awesome special fairy pow-

**phone beeps**

Indi: Hold on a sec. I got a text. **types **

Derek: -.-

Indi: Anywayz, what was I saying?

Derek: What's so special about glitter?

Indi: Oh yeah. Well it's glitter! Glitter's amazing! But anytime you need me just-

**phone beeps again and Indi starts texting**

Indi: Sorry about that. But anywayz, as I was saying, if you ever need my help all you have to do is-

**Indi's Barbie Girl ringtone starts going off**

Indi: Sorry I've got to take this

Derek: You know what? I think I'm just gonna go back now...

Indi: *answers the phone* Hi!!!!! OMG I know! Wasn't he gorgeous?! Totally! OMG like that's the best idea ever! **starts hoping up and down **Yeah I know! OMG I told him that and I was like "Oh no you don't!" Then he was all like "Oh yes I do!" Then I called Becky and she was like "*gasp* he didn't!" and I told her that oh yes he did and she didn't believe me!

Derek: Fine Indi! Don't tell me! I'm leav-

**Indi snaps her fingers and a portal in the ground opens up and Derek falls through**

Derek: **off in the distance** Look guys! I got a jar of glitter and you don't know what's in it!

The Band: Glitter!

Derek: Awww man! **smacks into the ground**

THE END


	25. Chapter 21: I Challenge You

Jesse Chronicles: The Raccoon Saga

Chapter 21: I Challenge You!

[Back in the portal the Band is marveling at the jar]

Lilly: It's so pretty~

Joel: But what are we supposed to use it for?

Christian: Maybe we eat it?

Jesse: I don't think so, Christian

Kathryn: Maybe we should at least open it and see if there's anything else in it

Derek: No! ***Hug Jar*** It's mine!

Christian: Don't hog it!

[Christian & Derek engage in a game of tug-of-war with the jar]

Derek: Stop it! It's mine!

Christian: She gave it to you for a reason & jars were meant to be opened

Jesse: Can't we all just get along??

Kathryn: Both of you just calm down!

Lilly: Yeah, compromise

Joel: Actually, Lilly, you can't say anything

Lilly: Oh come on, I said I was sorry ;_;

Christian: That's not good enough! You were just going to leave!

Lilly: Hey! If you had a chance to be a princess wouldn't you take it?

Kathryn: She has a point there

Joel: And John was a hottie

Band: 0.o

Joel: Not that I think he was but sure, he was good looking

Kathryn: How about we just forget about that comment?

Joel: Ok

Jesse: I think we should just agree that Lilly may have made a little misjudgment and be happy she's back

Lilly: Please?

Jesse: Well I forgive you, Lilly

Kathryn: Me too

Joel, Derek, & Christian: ….

Lilly: ;____;

Joel: Fine

Derek: Whatever

Christian: …

Lilly: ;_________;

Christian: Ok ok, I forgive you too

Lilly: :D

Christian: But you owe me an ice cream cone

Lilly: What?

Derek: Hey if he gets ice cream I want some too

Christian: You can't just copy me like that!

Derek: Oh yeah I can

Kathryn: Both of you just shut up!

Jesse: Yeah, just get alo-

[The Band is now in a China Town type dimension :O ]

Joel: Wow

Lilly: :D We need to get noodles

Jesse: Mmmm, noodles~ :9

Kathryn: Ok ok, let's go find food. Derek, don't lose your jar

Derek: Don't worry, it's safe in my pocket :)

Jesse: 0.o That jar was bigger than Christian's head, how did it fit into your pocket?!?

Christian: Was that an insult?

Derek: Well now it's in my pocket so :P

Kathryn: I think it'd be best to just not ask

Joel: Seriously

Lilly: Noodles!

[The Band finds a little noodle stand where they all order]

Jesse: I can't wait to eat~

Lilly: I know it all smells so good :9

Server: Here you go

Band: :D ***Nom nom nom nom***

[The Band eats and eats and eats until they are fat & full]

Joel: That was so good~

Jesse: I couldn't eat another bite

Lilly: I want more~

Derek: You didn't even finish your bowl of rice! There are children starving somewhere and you're not even finishing your rice!

Lilly: I didn't want rice~

Kathryn: Yet you ate like half of it

Lilly: :P

Server: Bill

Lilly: Oh no, no one's name is Bill

Server: Pay

Lilly: Now that's a really weird name

Server: Pay bill!

Lilly: Oh, you didn't say your name was Bill. That's a nice name

Server: ***Glare***

Kathryn: I think he means we need to pay for our food

Lilly: Oh, my bad. Pay him then

Kathryn: I don't have any money

Lilly: Well neither do I

Kathryn: Guys?

Jesse: Nope, just fruit

Derek: I'm broke

Christian: I'm dirt poor

Derek: Joel's a prince, he should have money

Joel: Did you forget the whole "lost everything" part of my story?

Jesse: So no one has any money?

Band: …..

Server: ***Glare***

Lilly: I think this is the part where we run

Server: PAY!!!!!!

Band: 0.0

Joel: Can't we talk this out?

Server: You owe $69.78!

Joel: o.o How did we eat that much?

Derek: This stand was a rip off

Server: ***Glare***

Kathryn: How about~ we leave Joel here and you two can fight it out?

Joel: What?!?

Server: ….Ok

Joel: 0.0

Kathryn: Perfect

Derek: Bye Joel

Joel: Hey! You can't just leave me here!

Kathryn: Calm down, you just have to distract him until we find the unicorn

Joel: That could take forever!

Christian: Then fight forever

Joel: This isn't cool

Jesse: I'll stay with you while everyone else searches, Joel

Joel: ;_;

Kathryn: Ok, it's decided. Bye....um, what's your name anyway?

Server: I am Chakie Jan!

Band: 0.0

Derek: Good luck, Joel

Joel: :( Y'all know what? I'm going to win this because I'm awesome like that!

…

Joel: Guys?

[The Band has left Joel alone with Mr Jan (Jesse, realizing this was another

dimension's version of Jackie Chan, decided it'd be best to just go with the

Band since he's supposed to defeat Lysci and everything) ]

Joel: -_- Not cool guys

Chakie: Free car!

Joel: Hey! I'm also dragon

Chakie: Gas guzzler.....

Joel: No! I am very environment friendly

Chakie: Lie

Joel: :( Whatever! I'll defeat you in a battle since I can't pay your fees!

Chakie: It's on!

[So the two engaged in an epic battle of dragon-ness (Joel literally & Chakie  
martial-art-ily) with kicks & punches & swirly flip things]

Joel: I will not be defeated!

[Joel flies up into the air (yeah, he can fly) and body slams Chakie]

Chakie: Uncle, uncle! The food is free

Joel: Yeah! I rule! I'm awesome! I kicked bu-

[Back in the portal they are]

Joel: That was fast o.0

Lilly: The unicorn was in the next stand

Joel: Seriously?!?

Derek: Yeah

Kathryn: We were just waiting for you to finish up the fight

Joel: Oh, y'all were watching?

Jesse: Yeah, that was a cool finishing move

Joel: Nah, that was nothing

Christian: Shut up, Joel -_-

Joel: Hey, I just payed for lunch. I think I get to brag a little

Kathryn: No, not really

Joel: :(

~*~End~*~


	26. Chapter 22: Jesse's Guest Chap

**Dimension Special Subchapter: Minimon???**

Hey everybody, it's me that one guy Yoshi'snumberfriend1 writing another one of those chapters for Kine again! Anyway probably she hasn't updated this thing in a while, and the reason for that is she was waiting for me and another person (who shall remain nameless) to finish these dimension chapters. Anyway I figured why not make this a good chapter to make up for it, so for the very first time ever in this whole story... a chapter will be in... STORY FORMAT!!!! This also is for the first time in my career to write story format as well, because up til' now, I only wrote in half-story, half-script format. Well, I've taken enough space as it is, so here we go!

When we last left our heroes Joel the ninja dragon had just engaged in epic hardcore combat with Chakie Jan, and had beaten him with an epic finishing move too awesome to describe without the computer exploding! Then they got their free food and left Joel sad because he fought for basically nothing, so they touched the unicorn and ended up falling into the magical portal realm once again, but what they didn't count on was the portal glitching up and sending them to yet another alternate universe...

(In an unknown town at 7:00 A.M.)

We come to find a young boy in bed, dressed in blue t shirt and blue shirts, currently sleeping while dreaming about becoming a minimon master...

(Dream Sequence with _WAVY _effects)

The boy is standing in a field, face to face with a HUGE dragon minimon that is a cross between a dragon and some type of gas guzzling car...

(Joel: Hey I'm not a gas guzz-)

(Me: Yeah yeah! Quiet, the stories getting good!)

(Joel: :(..)

(Back in the dream)

Anyway the gas guzzling dragon let out a roar that sounded like a car revving up, but yet at the same time struck fear into one's heart even though the car revving thing was a bit strange... The boy though, was unfazed and simply stared at the Dragon for a few seconds, then calmly threw a blue and white sphere while saying, "I choose you!" Suddenly the ball that was tossed opened up and let out a wolf type minimon. The wolf let out a growl at the sight of the dragon, and the dragon roared in reply. The boy issued a command and the wolf attacked, but the dragon simply swatted the wolf away as if it was nothing more than a troublesome gnat. The boy let out a cry of worry and shock, then ran over to the wolf and started asking if it was OK, the wolf simply looked up at him, opened it's mouth, and made a horribly loud !!!!!

(Out of the dream)

The boy woke up with a start while yelling something about a wolf beeping at him, then realizing it was just the alarm, he shut it off and cried out. It was- I can't do this anymore I'm going to script mode to add more dialogue!

Anyways, he realized it was already 7:30, he had to be at Prof. Evergreen's lab by 7:00!!!

Boy: Ah! It's 7:30 I had to be there at 7:00!!!

So the boy quickly got dressed in a blue hoodie with a white T-shirt with some blue jeans blue sneakers, and his trademark Blue cap with a J on it.

Boy: I must get a Minimon by today or my name isn't Jesse! ...Boy, I really gotta get a last name...

So Jesse with no last name ran to the lab and frantically pounded on the door, but realizing something he stopped...

Jesse: Wait a second, I had a dream about battling a dragon, I wake up late thinking a wolf is beeping at me, and now I have no last name,this can only mean one thing... I need a psychiatrist!

Christian: (As a narrator/voice from above) No Jesse, you must begin your quest!

Jesse: (Looks around wildly) Ok yeah, scratch that, I need a super psychiatrist of some sort.

Christian: Don't worry Jesse, you're not going crazy, I'm just your... um... uh... can someone help me with this?

Jesse: A voice from above?

Christian: Sure let's go with that! Now just ring the doorbell!

Jesse: Doorbell? Oh hey a doorbell! Wait, how come this wasn't here before?

Christian: Oh, that's just in the programming of the game.

Jesse: The what?

Christian: I mean uh, that's just a game the Prof likes to play... yeah...

Jesse: ...Ok then.

Christian: (Phew! Almost broke the fourth wall there!)

Jesse rang the doorbell and shortly after a tall white bearded man with a baseball cap went to the door.

Jesse: Epic beard man???

Prof. Evergreen: No silly, it's me prof. Evergreen, Epic Beard man is my cousin!

Jesse: Oh, well can you give me my first Minimon Please???

Evergreen: Hm... well actually I don't think I have-

Jesse: Please Professor you gotta give me one, please!

Evergreen: Well I do have one left but it's-

Jesse: I'll take it!

Evergreen: All right then, but I must warn that-

Jesse: Hey is that it?

Evergreen: Yes but-

Jesse: Sweet! And in a stylish ball no less :D!

Evergreen: Well here is a minidex and some miniballs for you then...

Jesse: Thanks Prof.!

So Jesse ran off to begin his adventure, but suddenly remembered that he had to name his new minimon, speaking of which, he had FINALLY figured this dimension was supposed to be a spin-off of Pokemon. (What other dimension would have the Professors named after trees after all?)

Jesse: Well let's see... what should I name you little guy? Hm, how about dragonius the II?

Dragon-Car Type thing: (Gives blank stare)

Jesse: Ok then, I guess that names out, (Darn! I really liked that name too :( ), How about Joel?

Joel: Sounds right to me!

Jesse: Whoa you can talk!

Joel: (Man's voice) In a manner of speaking yes, using my internal radio, but since I'm still just a kid, I can't actually talk.

Jesse: Oh, that's still cool!

Joel: (Kid's voice) Darn tootin' skippy!

Jesse: That voice and dict ion changing will take some getting used to though. Oh well, hey look! A Birdy!

Minidex: Birdy, the Bird Minimon... what more do you want than that kid?

Jesse: Geez, rude a bit much?

Minidex: Get used to it!

Jesse: (Sigh) Fine! Now to capture that Birdy! Yah! Taste my fruit power of... miniballs??? What the? Where'd my fruits go??? They were in here just a minute ago! (Searches in backpack frantically.)

Minidex: Should you tell him?

Joel: (Terminator's voice) I'll be back! (Goes to Jesse) (Gangster voice) Yo cheesedawg! Listen up!

Jesse: Hm, what is it?

Joel: (In Professor Evergreen's voice) You know you can simply just use a Minimon to attack another and use the miniballs to capture it right?

Jesse: Oh right, forgot about that. Oh well, Joel use ember attack!

Joel suddenly shot millions of flaming embers out of his mouth and singed the Birdy, but little did they realize that the Birdy's parents had seen this and swooped down.

Jesse: Hey what are those?

Minidex: Oh man, those are Falconians! The evolved versions of Birdies! You guys better run!

Joel: (In a cocky voice) Oh come on what could they possibly-

Falconians: GRAAAAAAAAAWWWWWRRRR!!!!!!!

Joel: (In a girl's scream) RRRRRRUUUUUUUUUNNNNNN!!!!!!!

Jesse and Joel ran as fast as they could to escape from the angry Falconians, but being birds that could fly, they weren't that easy to escape, and soon Jesse and Joel came to a cliff.

Jesse: Oh man!

Joel: (In Eddie Murphy's voice) Oh man we gonna die brother we gonna die!

Jesse: Maybe not!

Joel: (In a little boy's voice) What do you mean?

Jesse: I mean this! (Grabs Joel and jumps off the cliff.)

Jesse and Joel: AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

*PLONK *

Luckily the cliff led out to the ocean, so Joel and Jesse weren't splattered on the ground. Unfortunately Joel was knocked unconscious, but Jesse managed to swim to the beach before passing out.

(The Next Day)

Jesse awoke in some strange house with a strange man staring at his face...

Jesse: ...AHHHHHHHH!!!!

Man: AAHHHHHH!!!!!

Joel: AAAAAHHHH!!!

Jesse: Joel, why'd you scream?

Joel: No se senor. (I don't know sir.)

Jesse: Oh hey, you found the Spanish station!

Joel: No! Mi radio se rompe y solo puedo acceder a las estaciones de Espanol. (No! My radio is broken so I can only access the Spanish stations.)

Jesse: Well that stinks, I guess your radio broke from the fall...

Man: Yep, you guys fell 1500 ft. Luckily you guys landed in the haystack that was below!

Jesse: W00t! Thank goodness for overused cliches!

Joel: Alabado sea el Senor! (Praise the Lord!)

Jesse: You have got to work on that.

Joel: Si. (Yes)

Jesse: So where are we anyway???

Man: Why you're in the homely little city of Green City!

Jesse: Green City?

Joel: Ciudad de Verde? (Green City?)

Man: Yep! And I'm its mayor! You see, our city has a very hum-

Jesse: Well actually we kinda need to go...

Man: (Rants on about historical stuff)

Jesse: Yeah come on Joel, we need to go.

Joel: Okey (Okay... did that really need to be translated?)

Jesse: Okay sir, we'll be leaving now!

Man: -four score and seven years ago our foun-

Jesse: Come on Joel!

Joel: Si Si! Vamos! (Yeah yeah! Let's go!)

Jesse: Bye old man! (Closes door)

Joel: Hasta luego! (See you later!)

Man: -And then that's when the brave mayor fought back! He fought-

(With Jesse and Joel)

Jesse: Well, it seems like a nice city!

Joel: Si, hay muy bonita! :D (Yes, it's very pretty!)

Jesse: Hey, what does that sign say? ...Hm, whoa! There's a tournament in Brown Town! It's past the Green Forest... and the prize is... A UNICORN STATUE????

Joel: Esta estatua de unicorno??? (A unicorn statue?)

Jesse: Hm... wait, that means I can get back to my own dimension! Yes!

Joel: Bueno! (Good)

Jesse: Come on Joel let's go!

Joel: Senor esperar! (Sir wait!)

Jesse: What???

Joel: Que pasa con las bolas de Mini??? (What about the miniballs?)

Jesse: Oh right, I need to get more miniballs. To el Supermercado! (The supermarket)

Joel: Si!!!

(Later, at El Supermercado)

Jesse: 5 miniballs please!

Clerk: Ok, that'll be 500 mini dollars please!

Jesse: Sure! Here ya go!

Clerk: Have a nice day!

Jesse: Thanks! You too!

Joel: Hasta Luego! (See you later!)

(In Green Forest)

Jesse: Alright Joel... be careful... any minimon can attack anytime, so be on your toes!

Joel: Si Senor! (Yes sir!)

Jesse: Exactly Joel... Joel? Joel? Are you ok???

Joel: (Is burnt and hurt) Si senor, estoy bien! (Yes sir, I'm good!)

Jesse: No! Joel is unconscious, I gotta do CPR!

Joel: No senor! Espera! Que vas hacer?!? (No sir! Wait! What are you doing?!?)

Jesse: Breath darn you! Ah! (Starts to preform CPR by punching his chest instead of chest compressions.)

Joel: Gah! Ow! Oof! Ouch!

Jesse: C'mon breath!

Meanwhile, in the bushes nearby, someone was watching...

???: Hm... this one is not like the other humans, he cares for his friends much more than others do... I shall join him in his quest!

(Back with Jesse)

Jesse: Finally! He started breathing again! And here I thought I was going to have to use a defibrillator on you!

Joel: (Phew!)

???: Hello young traveler!

Jesse: What the? Who said that?

Joel: Tal vez es en fantasma? (Maybe it is a ghost?)

???: No! I am not a ghost! I am a very rare minimon that is uncatchable, and I can only be gotten if I choose to go with you.

Jesse: Oh, so then why did you want to talk to us?

???: Well silly, it's because I'd like to join you! :P

Jesse: Oh, cool! What do you think Joel?

Joel: Perfecto! (Translation: Just take out the o!)

Jesse: Well then, we agree!

???: Sweet! Now what sort of name are you going to give me?

Jesse: Wait you don't have a name?

???: Kinda hard to have one if you're running from people all the time.

Jesse: Good point, then how about... Azaria?

Azaria: Ok! :D

Jesse: Sweet! I got an uncatchable minimon! :D (Epic pose)

Joel: Brrrrravo!

Azaria: Yay!

Jesse: Alright guys, to brown town where we will enter the tournament and win that unicorn statue!

Azaria and Joel: Yeah/Si!!!

So Jesse, Joel, and their new party member, Azaria, began the long walk to Brown Town. Eventually, the forest ended and they got to a huge gate with a sign that said: Brown Town entry gate, trespassers will be baked, and then there will be cake!

Jesse: ooo cake! I hope it's melon flavored!

Joel: Si!

Azaria: Uh you guys, it's not such a good idea to go in there without proper permission!

Jesse: Why not?

Azaria: Because I saw what was there before, and if you don't have permission to pass the gate, you'll be baked into a cake!

Jesse: So that's what the sign meant!

Joel: Ohhhhh! Yo comprendo! (Oh! I understand!)

Azaria: Now stick with me and we'll be alright!

Jesse: Ok!

Joel: OK! (Really? Is there seriously need to translate that?)

So Jesse, Joel, and Azaria went to the side of the fence and climbed it all _sneaky-like_! Then they started making their way towards the Town's newly developed Battle Dome. On the way though, they happened to cross a street with a man yelling at his wife while they were riding a motorcycle (the man and his wife), and the man seemed very familiar...

Mr. Christenseed: I SAID TURN DARN YOU WOMAN!!! TUUUURRRRNNNN!!!

Unfortunately his wife was getting pretty aggravated, and Jesse knew it was only a matter of time before poor Mr. Christenseed got kicked off the motorcycle, but that was later, and anyway the three now found themselves in front of the BATTLE DOME! (Dramatic music)

Jesse: Well, here we are guys! The Brown Town battle dome!

Azaria: Yup! And we're gonna win it!

Joel: Si! (Yeah!)

Jesse: Alright! Let's go!

So Jesse, Joel, and Azaria went into the Battle Dome, but not before putting Azaria in a miniball just in case a crook decided to get a funny idea and try to kidnap her. Jesse and Joel found the registration line, but there was one small problem... the line was HHHUUUUGGGGEEE! So it would take awhile before they got to the front of the line. Soon though a girl that was the same age as Jesse popped up out of nowhere.

???: Hello there! * Wink *

Jesse: Um... hi! Is there something wrong with your eye?

???: Nope! But what's your name?

Jesse: Um...(looks to the left of here) Jesse!

???: Hm, that's a cute name for a cute guy!

Jesse: Um... (getting uncomfortable and shy) thanks... I guess.

???: Well my name is Betsy!

Jesse: (Thinking) Wait a minute!!!

(Flashback to Chapter 13)

Betsy: (Come back my love!)

Jesse: Run I'm being chased!

(End Flashback)

Jesse: AHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Everyone: 0.0

Jesse: Sorry!

Betsy: It's alright, but do you have a girlfriend???

Jesse: (Thinking) Oh no I can see where this is going! But what should I do???

Mental Derek: Remember Jesse, getting a girlfriend is somewhat weird!

Mental Joel: You don't even have one!

Mental Derek: Neither do you!

Mental Kathryn: Shush! We're here to help Jesse right now!

Mental Derek and Joel: :(

Mental Kathryn: Listen Jesse, just follow your heart on this matter!

Jesse: But what if my heart is telling me to evacuate???

Mental Kathryn: Then use logic!

Jesse: Hm, that might work, thanks Kathryn! Have a cookie!

Mental Kathryn: Yay! Cookie!

Jesse: (Thinking) Alright, logic, logic, logic, I know! I'll turn this into a math problem!

Jesse's Brain: Let's see, Jesse+Betsy= Syntax Error, Jesse-Betsy= 1 1=X

Jesse: Alright then!

Betsy: (Really close to Jesse's face now) So what do you say handsome??? Will you be my boyfriend???

Jesse: Uh... (I better finish this before it gets any further) Hey look! It's the creators of the hit magazine, Great Minimon Trainers Monthly!

Betsy: oooo where??? (Dashes off)

Jesse: (Phew)

Luckily, because of that little shenanigan, enough time had passed by for the line to move waaaaaayyy up! And Jesse was now at the front!

Jesse: Yes! I'm in!

Registration Lady: May I see some identifacaption please?

Jesse: Identifacaption???

Joel: Senor! El minidex! (Sir! The Minidex!)

Jesse: Oh right! (Shows Minidex)

Registration Lady: Well, everything seems to be in order, you are contestant number 67, you have one week to train! Good luck!

Jesse: One week? Alright! That's enough time to-

Just then Jesse spotted some a very familiar group of people.

???: And so I says to Mrs. Pobble, "you may have me in checkmate, but I'm still awesome!"

Group: * groan*

???: Seriously Derek, that was a horrible joke, Lilly, and me Kathryn are getting sick of them!

Derek: Why did you say your name after you said me?

Kathryn: I have no idea!

Jesse: Guys!

Lilly: Hello! Two girls here!

Jesse: (Thinking) Oh right they don't know me! (Talking) Sorry I must have confused you with someone else! But it is nice to meet you guys!

Kathryn: It is ok, we get that a lot, nice to meet you!

Lilly: Nice to meet you!

Derek: Hi, my name is Derek! And I like rum!

Jesse: 0.0

Kathryn: Derek, I thought we sent you to Alcoholics Anonymous!

Derek: Yeah, but after the first 30 seconds I got bored, so I left and went to an amusement park! ^.^

Lilly: What??? Who's money did you use????

Derek: Well, I was broke, so I borrowed the money from the emergency cash fund!

Kathryn: ALL OF IT?!?

Derek: Yep! :D

Kathryn: Come with me Derek!

Derek: (Gets dragged away) No wait! Kathryn don't- Ah oof! Ouch! No! Ack!

It was easy to see that Kathryn had punished Derek really bad, because Derek was shivering and quaking and looked very traumatized.

Derek: Don't ever tickle me like that again! D:

Kathryn: Then don't spend our money!

Lilly: I'm sorry about that our group tends to get very weird!

Derek: Your face is weird!

Kathryn: Derek!

Derek: D:

Lilly: See what I mean?

Jesse: Yup, well I'll see you later guys, I gotta go train!

Kathryn: But you never told us your name!

Jesse: Who me? Well my name... is JESSE!

Lilly, Derek, and Kathryn: GASP!

Derek: That's a cool name!

Jesse: Well, see ya! And thanks! And you're welcome for the cookie Kathryn!

Kathryn: He gave me a cookie?

Lilly: I guess so!

Derek: So can we go to a pub now? I need some beer!

Lilly and Kathryn: No!

(Later)

Jesse was beginning to train with Joel and Azaria in a very cool montage. Jesse was punching a punching bag:

Joel: Mas rapido! (More fast!)

Jesse: Rgh!

Doing pushups:

Azaria: Come on Jesse you can do it!

Jesse: Hgh! Ah!

Then about halfway through the montage Jesse realized something.

Jesse: Wait, why am I the one doing all the training if you guys are going to be battling?

Joel and Azaria: No se/ I don't know!

Jesse: (Sighs) Now let's train for real!

So a week later they were back at the battle dome, ready to go kick some minimon butt!

Jesse: Let's do it guys!

So Jesse waited for a minute and it seemed he was battling a girl that he recognized.

Jesse: Her?

Later Jesse made his way to the arena and took his place, for some reason, even though he was number 67, his battle was the first one up.

Announcer: Hello and welcome to the Brown Town Battle Dome tournament!!! Our trainers will be duking it out mercilessly alongside their minimon!!! And the prize is a very rare treasure, the fabled unicorn statue!!!

Crowd: Yeeeeeaaaaahhhh!!!!

Announcer: So let's introduce our first two battlers for today: in this corner we have a new comer, unknown from day one, it's JEEEESSSSEEEE!!!

Crowd: Yeeeaaahh!!!

Announcer: And in this corner we have a young lass! Named INDI!!!

Crowd: Yeah!

Jesse: Well, Indi is better than Betsy anyday of the week! She's fun to hang with too! ^.^

Indi: Hi I'm Indi, and I'm gonna win!

Jesse: We'll see about that! Go Joel!

Joel: Voy a ganar! (I am going to win!)

Indi: Go Jack!

Suddenly Indi released a Minimon that looked like a sparrow. Then Jesse's minidex alerted him to a new type of minimon!

Minidex: Sparrowmon, the sparrow minimon, watch out for its beak!

Jesse: Sparrowmon? Jack Sparrow- Oh my gosh! Really Indi???

Indi: What can I say? I love Johnny Depp :P

Just then, as the battle was just beginning, an explosion rocked the stadium, and in the smoke were three familiar characters!

???: Prepare for trouble!

???: Make it double!

Jesse: Luz?

???: Who is Luz?

???: Kyle!

???: Kyle stop for a sec!

Kyle: Ok!

Dan: Aw! But I didn't even get to introduce myself!

Jesse: Oh my gosh! It's a Luz doppelganger!

Luz DoppelG: Hm, I guess whatever you want to go with... But anyway, I am part of the great team missile! And we require this so called unicorn statue!

Jesse: Actually I kinda need it for a very important purpose!

Luz DoppelG: Well too bad :P! We're taking it to our base!

Joel: No, yo lo tiendo! (No I will get it!)

Jesse: Come on Joel, let's get the statue!

Joel: Si!

So Jesse and Joel started fighting over the statue to get back to Jesse's dimension, and Luz's doppelganger and Kyle's and Dan's doppelgangers were also trying to get the unicorn statues to take back to their base.

Luz DoppelG: Give me the statue!

Jesse: No you!

Kyle: No you!

Joel: No tu! (No you!)

Dan: No you!

Azaria: No you!

Jesse: Azaria when did you get out of your miniball?

Azaria: I wanted to help you! ;_;

Jesse: There there Azaria! You can help us!

Azaria: Yay! ^.^

But soon the fight got so out of hand that LUZ's doppelganger dropped the statue and broke it.

Jesse: Um, incidentally, Christian? I know you haven't talked in a while but what happens if the statue breaks before I get out of the dimension?

Christian: I have no idea!

Jesse: Uh oh!

All of a sudden the sky went dark and there was a HUGE sound that sounded like something exploded and then the ground split apart and everything went crazy!

Jesse: Oh my gosh! Run!

Soon everybody was in mass panic and people were running away and stuff, then all of a sudden a portal appeared right next to Jesse.

Jesse: What the?

Right then the portal sucked him in, sending him to the dimension between portals, once the portal closed, the dimension was cut off from the others, so Jesse couldn't go back!

Jesse: Um, what just happened? Where am I, oh no! I'm stuck forever in the dimensions!

TO BE CONTINUED

Me: W00t! Finally finished! ^.^

Kine: Yoshi'snumber1friend send it to me!

ME: Okay Kine! Geez!


	27. Chapter 22,5:The Rest of Jesse's Chap

**Special Chapter Part2: The Dimensions!**

Hey everybody! It's me again, that one Yoshi'snumber1friend guy! Anyway, I'm back with the continuation of last chapter! And guess what? I have absolutely no idea when I'll finish this! But anyway, yeah at least it wasn't as long as last time I took to update... I mean last time I took like thirty years to make Kine update this thing. Anyway, enough of takin' up the chappie's space, on with the story! :D

Christian: (as narrator) When we last Jesse (who had no last name) he had just managed to get into the battle tournament. And when he started to battle Indi, Team Missile and Luz, Kyle, and Dan doppelgangers showed up to take the unicorn statue, but Jesse, Joel, and Azaria wouldn't let them take it, so after a bunch of fighting Luz DG dropped the statue and pretty much cut off the dimension from the others and now Jesse is in the portal place and is getting blasted through dimensions... will he make it? Will he get back to the others? Will I quit asking rhetorical questions? Keep on reading to find out!

(In the portal place)

Jesse: Oh no! I'm stuck in the dimensions forever! AHHHH!

All of a sudden a portal appeared in front of Jesse, and sucked him in with a _**VOIP! **_Sound.

Suddenly Jesse found himself in a modern battlefield, there were rockets flying, guns blazing, and soldiers running and screaming everywhere. Jesse noticed that he was in a U.S. Army uniform. Suddenly Jesse got pulled down into a trench!

Jesse: Gah! What the? Who are you?

Joel: What are you doing Jesse? Are you trying to get yourself killed?

Derek: Yeah Jesse! Geez!

Jesse: Well sorry guys! But what do we do now?

Christian: Alright slackers get out their and fight the forces of Lysci now!

Joel and Derek: Yes Commander Christian sir!

Jesse: Commander?

Christian: (Gives Jesse the evil eye) You got a problem with that son?

Jesse: Uh... no sir! (whimpers)

Christian: good! Now as punishment for being idle, drop and give me twenty!

Joel: But sir! You can't just make us do pushups in the middle of a battlefield!

Derek: Yeah, we'll get killed!

Jesse: What they said!

Christian: Do you want it to be forty?

All three: No sir! (Drops and gives him 20)

About nineteen pushups later Jesse was pretty tired, because pushups weren't exactly a strong point of his.

Jesse: (Gasping) Nine-hurgh-teen! Ah last one! Twen-

Suddenly a tank came over the hill right next to him!

Jesse: Oh sh-

Joel: Gasp! Jesse!

Jesse: I was gonna say sheperd's pie!

Joel: Oh, that's ok then!

The tank then fired!

Jesse: Ah-

_**VOIP!**_

Jesse: AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH... Ah? What? I'm back, I'm alive! I didn't I'd ever say this but thank goodness for portals!

_**VOIP!**_

Jesse: Or not!

Just then, Jesse found himself locked in a heated battle against a person in a black robotic suit type looking thing. Jesse got out his fruit sword and blocked, parried, and thrusted through the fight. But soon Jesse got tired and the black robotic suit person kicked him to the ground.

Jesse: Ah!

Black Robot Guy: Joel never told you what happened to your sister did he?

Jesse: He told me enough! He told me **you** killed him!

Black Robot guy: No Jesse, I am your sister! (takes off mask)

Jesse: ? LUZ?

Luz: Yes Jesse, I am your sister! MUAHAHAHAHA!

Jesse: No... that's not true! That's impossible!

Luz: Actually it is!

Jesse: Really?

Luz: Yes. Now die!

Jesse: Ah-

_**VOIP!**_

Jesse: AHHH- Hey! You know, I'm starting to like this portals' timing!

_**VOIP!**_

Then Jesse found himself in a city type landscape, he was standing on a stage next to some short chubby guy that was handing him a trophy.

Jesse: What's this for?

Audience: (Laughs)

Mayor: Isn't this guy hilarious? Give it up for the guy who saved our humble city!

Audience: (Cheers)

Jesse: :D Sweet! I'm a hero!

Mayor: Yes, and in addition to that trophy we're giving you a nifty jacket that has the GOLDEN DOLLAR CITY logo on it, and we're also giving you a lifetimes supply of cantaloupe!

Suddenly, Jesse noticed a closed curtain behind him, and after a couple seconds, it opened to reveal a HHUUUUUGGGGEEEEE pile of cantaloupe that Jesse had never seen!

Jesse: **0****______________________________****0** (Jaw drops) :D Heaven, I think I just found you!

But just Jesse was about to dive in and chow down, he heard a _**VOIP!**_

Jesse: TT_TT Cantaloupe... Why? (Cries)

_**VOIP!**_

Suddenly Jesse was in a high school somewhere. And a couple students that were walking down the hall noticed him come out of the portal.

Everyone: 0.0

Jesse: Um hello?

Suddenly Jesse noticed a person that looked exactly like him.

Jesse: What the?

Jesse 2: 0.0

Jesse: Are-

Jesse 2: you-

Both: ME?

_**VOIP!**_

Jesse 2: Kine, I think your story is getting to me.

Kine: I know Jesse, I know.

(Back in the portal)

Jesse: Now that was weird. I wonder what else I'm gonna have to go through here...

All of a sudden he was transported through another portal. But this time it didn't stop in one place. It just kept teleporting from dimension to dimension.

Jesse: AAAAHHHHHH! Cool it on the teleporting will yaaaaaa!

But that had no effect. And the seizure inducing madness just kept on going!

Jesse: AHHHH! How am I gonna get out of here?

Christian: Use the fruit Jesse!

Jesse: What is that supposed to mean?

Christian: Figure it out! I was only supposed to tell you what to do not what it meant!

Jesse: (Sarcastically) Gee thanks!

Christian: No problem! Now I'm off to who knows where!

Jesse: That is one strange guy... oh well, now to use the fruit... but what does it mean? Why does everybody never give me a straight answer to these things? I swear! It happens here, in life, video games... even those choose your own adventure books... oh well, here goes nothing!

Suddenly, Jesse pulled out a HUUUUUGGGGEEEE cantaloupe from his backpack.

Jesse: Why haven't I eaten this yet?

Then Jesse threw it off into the distance, but what he didn't know was that the cantaloupe was a fruit equivalent of a supernova.

Jesse: Well... I always said cantaloupe was a powerful fruit but this is ridiculous!

As the blast got nearer to him, Jesse said one final thing.

Jesse: Darn it! I forgot to get frickin non-alcoholic rum for Derek again!

And with that, the blast consumed Jesse!

Jesse: Waaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!

Then everything went black...

THE E-

Suddenly, a voice emanated from nowhere.

?: _Jesse..._

Jesse: Huh? I'm not dead? Well then where the heck am I?

?: _Wake up Jesse! Yeah! Get off your lazy butt!_

Jesse: Ok, those voices sounded different... just where am I?

Suddenly Jesse woke up as if he had been sleeping.

Jesse: (Eyelids flutter open) Ah! The light! It burns!

Lilly: Finally! Geez Jesse!

Christian: Yeah, Derek was about to get the defibrillator!

Joel: I had nothing to do with it!

Derek: Aw! No shocky-shocky :(!

Kathryn: Man, you sure are a heavy sleeper!

Jesse: Wait, don't you guys remember what happened?

Derek: You mean how I convinced Joel and Kathryn to actually have a drinking contest til' they passed out?

Joel: I'm never falling for that one again :(.

Jesse: Wait, you guys seriously don't remember the dimensions we all went through and all that?

Lilly: Dimensions? Jesse are you feeling alright?

Derek: Did you get into my secret rum stash again?

Jesse: Again? There wasn't even a first time!

Kathryn: So what were those dimensions?

Jesse: Never mind! It was probably all just a dream of some sort.

Joel: Yeah, probably, but in the psychological aspect it-

Everybody else: ZZZZZZZZZ....

Joel: Seriously? That's not even supposed to be possible!

Jesse: (Thinking to himself) Well, at least SHE isn't here.

Betsy: Noo Nay! (I found you!)

Jesse: Oh no... AAAAHHHHHHHHHH! (Runs away.)

Betsy: Noo Noo Nay! (Come back my love!)

Kathryn: Should we go after him?

Everyone else: Nah!

Kathryn: (Drags everyone else) Come on!

Everyone: Awww!

TO BE CONTINUED

Me: Well, I guess that is it for this chapter!

Raccoon Me: Pretty short compared to your other chapter.

ME: Actually this was more of just a part two to finish up what happened last time.

Raccoon me: Oh, I see.

Me: Yup, now I-

Kine: Send me the chapter already!

Me: (Sigh) OK Kine, whatever you say.

Kine: Good! And keep it that way :P.

Me: :(

Raccoon me: (Sweatdrops)


End file.
